“What, d’yer mean to say you didn’t mean what you said?” inquired the other. “Why, o’ course,” said the mate with an appearance of great surprise. “You didn’t, did you?” “No,” said the skipper, swallowing something in his throat. “No, o’ course not. But you did it well too, George. Uncommon well, you did.” “Not half so well as you did,” said the mate. “Well, I s’pose we’ve got to keep it up now.” “I s’pose so,” said the skipper; “but we mustn’t keep it up on the same things, George. Swallerin’ knives an’ that sort o’ thing, I mean.” “No, no,” said the mate hastily. “An’ if you could get your missus to go home by train from Summercove, George, we might have a little peace and quietness,” added the other. “She’d never forgive me if I asked her,” said the mate: “you’ll have to order it, cap’n.” “I won’t do that, George,” said the skipper firmly. “I’d never treat a lady like that aboard my ship. I ’ope I know ’ow to behave myself if I do eat with my knife.” “Stow that,” said the mate, reddening. “We’ll wait an’ see what turns up,” he added hopefully. For the next three days nothing fresh transpired, and the bickering between the couples, assumed on the part of the men and virulent on the part of their wives, went from bad to worse. It was evident that the ladies preferred it to any other amusement life on ship-board could offer, and, after a combined burst of hysterics on their part, in which the whole ship’s company took a strong interest, the husbands met to discuss heroic remedies. “It’s getting worse and worse,” said the skipper ruefully. “We’ll be the laughing stock o’ the crew even afore they’re done with us. There’s another day afore we reach Summercove, there’s five or six days there, an’ at least five back again.” “There’ll be murder afore then,” said the mate, shaking his head. “If we could only pack ’em _both_ ’ome by train,” continued the skipper. “That’s an expense,” said the mate. “It ’ud be worth it,” said the other. “An’ they wouldn’t do it,” said the mate, “neither of ’em.” “I’ve seen women having rows afore,” said the skipper, “but then they could get away from each other. It’s being boxed up in this little craft as does the mischief.” “S’pose we pretend the ship’s not seaworthy,” said the mate. “Then they’d stand by us,” said the skipper, “closer than ever.” “I b’leeve they would,” said the mate. “They’d go fast enough if we’d got a case o’ small-pox or anything like that aboard, though.” The skipper grunted assent. “It ’ud be worth trying,” said the mate. “We’ve pretended to have a quarrel. Now just as we’re going into port let one of the hands, the boy if you like, pretend he’s sickening for small-pox.” “How’s he going to do it?” inquired the skipper derisively. “You leave it to me,” replied the other. “I’ve got an idea how it’s to be done.”