England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; Sailors -- Fiction; Seafaring life -- Fiction
Summoned noiselessly by the cook, Bill came up from the forecastle, and
on learning what was required of him pursed up his lips and started our
noble anthem with a whistle of such richness and volume that the
horrified skipper was almost deafened with it. It acted on the mate
like a charm, and he came from below and closed Bill’s mouth, none too
gently, with a hand which shook with excitement. Then, as quietly as
possible, he closed the companion and secured the fastenings.
“He’s all right,” he said to the skipper breathlessly. “He’s a
prisoner. He’s ’ad four goes o’ whisky, an’ he seems inclined to
sleep.”
“Who let him go down the cabin,” demanded the skipper angrily. “It’s a
fine thing I can’t leave the ship for an hour or so but what I come
back and find people sitting all round my cabin.”
“He let hisself darn,” said the cook, who saw a slight opening
advantageous to himself in connection with a dish smashed the day
before, “an’ I was that surprised, not to say alarmed, that I dropped
the large dish and smashed it.”
“What did he say?” inquired the skipper.
“The blue one, I mean,” said the cook, who wanted that matter settled
for good, “the one with the place at the end for the gravy to run
into.”
“What did he say?” vociferated the skipper.
“’E ses,’ ’ullo,’ he ses, ‘you’ve done it now, old man,’” replied the
truthful cook.
The skipper turned a furious face to the mate.
“When the cook come up and told me,” said the mate, in answer, “I see
at once what was up, so I went down and just talked to him clever
like.”
“I should like to know what you said,” muttered the skipper.
“Well, if you think you can do better than I did you’d better go down
and see him,” retorted the mate hotly. “After all, it’s you what ’e
come to see. He’s your visitor.”
“No offence, Bob,” said the skipper. “I didn’t mean nothing.”
“I don’t know nothin’ o’ horse racin’,” continued the mate, with an
insufferable air, “and I never ’ad no money troubles in my life, bein’
always brought up proper at ’ome and warned of what would ’appen, but I
know a sheriff’s officer when I see ’im.”
“What am I to do?” groaned the skipper, too depressed even to resent
his subordinate’s manner, “it’s a judgment summons. It’s ruin if he
gets me.”
“Well, so far as I can see, the only thing for you to do is to miss the
ship this trip,” said the mate, without looking at him. “I can take her
out all right.”
“I won’t,” said the skipper, interrupting fiercely.
“Very well, you’ll be nabbed,” said the mate.
“You’ve been wanting to handle this craft a long time,” said the
skipper fiercely. “You could ha’ got rid of him if you’d wanted to.
He’s no business down my cabin.”
“I tried everything I could think of,” asseverated the mate.
“Well, he’s come down on my ship without being asked,” said the skipper
fiercely, “and damme he can stay there. Cast off.”
“But,” said the mate, “s’pose——”
“Cast off,” repeated the skipper. “He’s come on my ship, and I’ll give
him a trip free.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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