"What!" said the landlord, and swore; "thou 'st drunk all my liquor and haven't got nought to pay for it with!" "Hi!" said the fool. "You told me to drink so as to get a coat o' clay; but as I'm a wise man now I don't mind helping thee along in the world a bit, for though I'm a smart fellow I'm not too proud to my friends." "Wise man! smart fellow!" said the landlord, "and help me along, wilt thee? Dang it! thou 'rt the biggest fool I ever saw, and it's I'll help _thee_ first--out o' this!" And he kicked him out of the door into the road and swore at him. "Hum," said the fool, as he lay in the dust, "I'm not so wise as I thought. I guess I'll go back to the wise woman and tell her there's a screw loose somewhere." So up he got and went along to her house, and found her sitting at the door. "So thou 'rt come back," said she, with a nod. "What dost thou want with me now?" So he sat down and told her how he'd tried to get a coat o' clay, and he wasn't any wiser for all of it. "No," said the wise woman, "thou 'rt a bigger fool than ever, my lad." "So they all say," sighed the fool; "but where can I get the right sort of coat o' clay, then, missis?" "When thou 'rt done with this world, and thy folk put thee in the ground," said the wise woman. "That's the only coat o' clay as 'll make such as _thee_ wise, lad. Born a fool, die a fool, and be a fool thy life long, and that's the truth!" And she went into the house and shut the door. "Dang it," said the fool. "I must tell my mother she was right after all, and that she'll never have a wise man for a son!" And he went off home. The Three Cows There was a farmer, and he had three cows, fine fat beauties they were. One was called Facey, the other Diamond, and the third Beauty. One morning he went into his cowshed, and there he found Facey so thin that the wind would have blown her away. Her skin hung loose about her, all her flesh was gone, and she stared out of her great eyes as though she'd seen a ghost; and what was more, the fireplace in the kitchen was one great pile of wood-ash. Well, he was bothered with it; he could not see how all this had come about. Next morning his wife went out to the shed, and see! Diamond was for all the world as wisht a looking creature as Facey--nothing but a bag of bones, all the flesh gone, and half a rick of wood was gone too; but the fireplace was piled up three feet high with white wood-ashes. The farmer determined to watch the third night; so he hid in a closet which opened out of the parlour, and he left the door just ajar, that he might see what passed.