Lots of conversation ensued upon these premises, and the manager, after two or three private conferences, declared himself satisfied, but the magistrate said he was not. "If poor men," said his worship, "were brought before me, charged with such mischievous absurdities, they would be inevitably sent to prison, unless they could find bail; and I will not suffer others to escape, because they may have certain means of satisfying those they injure." So the schoolmaster and the sheriff's-officer were held to bail for their appearance at the sessions; and the apothecary was suffered to return to his disconsolate family _unscathed_, because he had not been quite so obstreperous as his companions. A LAMPLIGHTER'S FUNERAL. An elderly matron, one Mrs. Bridget Foggarty--the lady of an operative architect (_vulgo_ a bricklayer) was charged with having wantonly assaulted a patrol, whilst in the execution of his duty. It seems that a deceased lamplighter was interred, the evening before, in St. Pancras' burying ground, with much funeral pomp--there being more than two hundred of his brother _illuminati_ present, each bearing a flaming torch in celebration of his obsequies. This, it was said, is the universal mode of lighting a lamplighter to "that bourne from whence no traveller returns," and, of course, the spectacle attracted crowds of people. Wherever crowds of people are collected, there the patrol very properly repair, to prevent disorder: and the officer in question was there for that meritorious purpose, when Mrs. Bridget Foggarty abruptly gave him a slap on the cheek with her own right hand--that hand being all begrimed with tar, in consequence of her having held one of the half-melted funeral torches while the bearer of it took a little of _Deady's_ consolatory[12] on his way back from the mournful ceremonies. This was the assault complained of; but the officer said he did not wish to be hard with Mrs. Foggarty; neither would he have taken her into custody, had not the surrounding multitude echoed the blow with such a shout of exultation as gave the lady a very evident intention of repeating it. Mrs. Bridget Foggarty, when asked by the magistrate what she had to say for herself, wept audibly, and assured his worship that she took the gentleman for a friend of her husband's, or she never should have taken such a liberty as that 'ere. She declared that it was not _tar_ upon her hand, but _soot_--plain, ordinary soot, "off of a chimney-sweeper;" and, if his worship pleased, she would tell him all about it.