"No trade in the world at all," replied the general; "I am not the person to be after following trades.--The tools I am _spaking_ about are what I used in some of the greatest inventions the world ever saw. I invented a _happaratus_ for extracting stone and gravel from the _blather_, without any operation at all. I invented a machine for fishing up vessels foundered at sea, as _aisy_ as fishing up an oyster; and I invented another machine for making _accouchement_ the most _aisy_ thing in existence--a mere _fla-bite_ to the most tender lady imaginable! And it was partly these inventions, indeed, that brought me to this country now--because I did not choose to be giving foreigners the benefit of them." "Pray, Sir," said Mr. Minshull, "will you give me leave to ask whether you were ever confined?" The General--"_Confined!_ for what would I be confined?" Mr. Minshull--"If you do not understand the nature of my question, I am sorry I put it; but it certainly appeared to me possible that----" The General--"Sir, you appear to me to be after _taalking_ in a very queer kind of a way to a _jontleman_! You ought to know what is due to a respectable and _graat_ man, even though he is in distress." Mr. Minshull--"Well, Sir, I will speak as plainly to you as you do to me. It is my opinion, and the opinion, I believe, of every person present, that you are out of your mind; and that if you have never been confined, it is high time you were so." The General angrily declared he was altogether _mens sana in corpore sano_; and professed himself astonished that any body should entertain a contrary opinion; then taking from his side-pocket a round tin case, nearly as large as a demi-culverin, he offered to produce from it documents to show that he was really the important personage he professed himself to be. The magistrates, however, had no faith in the matter; they told him it might be all very true, but they had no funds to assist him with; and, as he appeared very incredulous on this subject, they at length ordered him to withdraw upon pain of being committed to prison under the Vagrant Act. This was an awful alternative, which the gallant "General" did not think proper to risk; so gathering up his patents and papers, he put his feather-fringed _chapeau_ upon his head, and taking an ample pinch of snuff--so ample, indeed, that it rushed through his olfactory labyrinth with the noise of a mighty cataract--he stalked majestically out of the office, muttering anathemas as he went. MRS. WILLIAMS'S PETTICOAT. This was a proceeding under the Pawnbrokers' Act, by which Mrs. Priscilla Williams sought to recover a compensation in damages for the loss of certain property pledged with a Mr. Simmons.