"You are both fool and knave, Mr. O'Connor," observed his worship--"a _knave_ for sleeping when you are paid to keep awake, and a _fool_ for wantonly bringing this complaint against yourself." Mr. Humphrey Brummel was then discharged without a fee; and Mr. Terence O'Connor was dismissed with an assurance that his _watching_ should be _watched_ in future, and that he should be suspended if caught napping. CUPID IN CHAMBERS. A pretty little aquiline-faced, "gazelle-eyed" damsel, was brought in by one of the St. Clement Danes' constables, charged with creating a riot in the chambers of Mr. Snuggs, of Clement's Inn. Master Constable knew nothing of the alleged riot, save and except what Mr. Snuggs had told him; and so he was ordered to stand aside; but Mr. Snuggs himself told a long and lamentable story of the sufferings he had endured from the fair prisoner. He had originally engaged her as a servant to attend to the domestic department at his chambers; but she took advantage of his _partiality_ for her services, and made the chambers too hot to hold him, as it were;--she disturbed his studies by her loquacity; she lived intemperately; she set him at defiance; she got her relations to help her to persecute him; and, if he only attempted to remonstrate with her, she raised the whole neighbourhood about his ears! He concluded by expressing a hope that his worship would put a stop to her doings. The magistrate thought there must be something very strange in all this; for what man of any spirit would suffer the serenity of his chambers and his mind to be so disturbed by a little gipsy of an Abigail, "when he himself might his _quietus_ make with a bare _warning_." He therefore put a question, or two, to Mr. Snuggs, touching the "partiality" he had spoken of. Mr. Snuggs replied afar off--somewhat approaching to the obscure; but not so the fair troubler of his peace and his chambers. She gave his worship to understand, in good round terms, that she was the veritable _mamma_ of sundry _little Snuggses_; and that Mr. Snuggs was neither more nor less than a gay deceiver. She denied that she had ever "kicked up a row" in his chambers--she had merely told him of his faults and his failings; and she hoped his worship would not think of separating her from her children. The magistrate immediately dismissed the charge; the damsel smiled triumphantly; and Mr. Snuggs, like a tall elderly gentleman as he was, stalked out of the office, sighing--as who should say, "The Gods are just, and of our pleasant vices make instruments to scourge us!" FLORENCE O'SHAUGHNESSY. This was a proceeding wherein one Mrs. Florence O'Shaughnessy sought "_purtection behint_ the law _agen_ the thumpings of her _oun_ lawful husband," Mr. Phelim O'Shaughnessy, of the parish of St. Giles, labourer.