Young Mr. Dakins occupied a front seat in one of the boxes till the conclusion of the first piece. Then, having nothing else to do, he looked round the house. Suddenly he espied a party of his friends, male and female, in the very next box. They occupied the front seat and part of the second; and he, perceiving that there was a vacant space on the second seat, went and took possession of it forthwith, and was highly delighted at the luckiness of the circumstance. In a few minutes in comes the little round man--"Hallo!" says he, "you've got my seat, young man." "_Your_ seat, Sir?" said the young man, with some surprise. "Yes, _my_ seat, Sir," replied the round one. "Well, Sir," rejoined the young one, "you need not be so hot upon't--there is a very nice seat, which I have just left, in the front row of the adjoining box--will you have the goodness to take that, as I wish to remain here with my friends?" "No, Sir," replied the round one, very waspishly--"no, Sir, I shall not! This is my seat--I have _satten_ upon it all the evening, and I'll have no other; and let me tell you, Sir, that I think your conduct in taking it, Sir, very ungentlemanly, Sir!" The young man's friends now interfered, but in vain; and at length they told him to let the little fat man have his seat, and they would make room for him in the front row. So there they sat, enduring all the moist miseries of four in a row, till the end of the second piece; when the young man, turning round his head, perceived the little round man's seat empty again; and, after waiting a few minutes, and finding he did not return, he again took possession of it, to the great relief of the poor ladies in the front row. But he had scarcely seated himself when in pops the little round man again, and without saying more than "I see this is done on purpose to insult me!" he seized the young man by the collar of the coat behind, lifted him from the seat, and very dexterously slid himself into it. In an instant all was uproar:--"Turn him out!"--"Throw him over!"--The little fat man lost his balance, fell backwards, and in that position he let fly "_an immense volley of kicks_," which the young man received on his stomach. The ladies shrieked, the gentlemen tried to hold his legs down, the house cried "Shame!"--and at length, after kickings and cuffings, and pullings and haulings, quite distressing to detail, the little round man was delivered over to the peace officers, and conveyed to the watch-house, panting like a porpoise, and perspiring at every pore.