Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Short stories, English
Mr. Hutton went to bed humble and contrite, but with a sense that grace
had entered into him. He slept for seven and a half hours, and woke to
find the sun brilliantly shining. The emotions of the evening before had
been transformed by a good night's rest into his customary cheerfulness.
It was not until a good many seconds after his return to conscious life
that he remembered his resolution, his Stygian oath. Milton and death
seemed somehow different in the sunlight. As for the stars, they were
not there. But the resolutions were good; even in the daytime he could
see that. He had his horse saddled after breakfast, and rode round the
farm with the bailiff. After luncheon he read Thucydides on the plague
at Athens. In the evening he made a few notes on malaria in Southern
Italy. While he was undressing he remembered that there was a good
anecdote in Skelton's jest-book about the Sweating Sickness. He would
have made a note of it if only he could have found a pencil.
On the sixth morning of his new life Mr. Hutton found among his
correspondence an envelope addressed in that peculiarly vulgar
handwriting which he knew to be Doris's. He opened it, and began to
read. She didn't know what to say; words were so inadequate. His wife
dying like that, and so suddenly--it was too terrible. Mr. Hutton
sighed, but his interest revived somewhat as he read on:
"Death is so frightening, I never think of it when I can help it.
But when something like this happens, or when I am feeling ill or
depressed, then I can't help remembering it is there so close, and
I think about all the wicked things I have done and about you and
me, and I wonder what will happen, and I am so frightened. I am so
lonely, Teddy Bear, and so unhappy, and I don't know what to do. I
can't get rid of the idea of dying, I am so wretched and helpless
without you. I didn't mean to write to you; I meant to wait till
you were out of mourning and could come and see me again, but I was
so lonely and miserable, Teddy Bear, I had to write. I couldn't
help it. Forgive me, I want you so much; I have nobody in the world
but you. You are so good and gentle and understanding; there is
nobody like you. I shall never forget how good and kind you have
been to me, and you are so clever and know so much, I can t
understand how you ever came to pay any attention to me, I am so
dull and stupid, much less like me and love me, because you do love
me a little, don't you, Teddy Bear?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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