Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Short stories, English
By half-past nine a kinder vinolent atmosphere had put to sleep the
hatreds and suspicions of before dinner. Sir Herbert Herne had
discovered that the young Cubist sitting next him was not insane and
actually knew a surprising amount about the Old Masters. For their part
these young men had realised that their elders were not at all
malignant; they were just very stupid and pathetic. It was only in the
bosoms of Mrs. Nobes, Mrs. Cayman, and Mrs. Mandragore that hatred still
reigned undiminished. Being ladies and old-fashioned, they had drunk
almost no wine.
The moment for speech-making arrived. Lord Badgery rose to his feet,
said what was expected of him, and called upon Sir Herbert to propose
the toast of the evening. Sir Herbert coughed, smiled and began. In the
course of a speech that lasted twenty minutes he told anecdotes of Mr.
Gladstone, Lord Leighton, Sir Almo Tadema, and the late Bishop, of
Bombay; he made three puns, he quoted Shakespeare and Whittier, he was
playful, he was eloquent, he was grave.... At the end of his harangue
Sir Herbert handed to Mr. Tillotson a silk purse containing fifty-eight
pounds ten shillings, the total amount of the subscription. The old
man's health was drunk with acclamation.
Mr. Tillotson rose with difficulty to his feet. The dry, snakelike skin
of his face was flushed; his tie was more crooked than ever; the green
ribbon of the Order of Chastity of the second class had somehow climbed
tip his crumpled and maculate shirt front.
"My lords, ladies, and gentlemen," he began in a choking voice, and then
broke down completely. It was a very painful and pathetic spectacle. A
feeling of intense discomfort afflicted the minds of all who looked upon
that trembling relic of a man, as he stood there weeping and stammering.
It was as though a breath of the wind of death had blown suddenly
through the room, lifting the vapours of wine and tobacco-smoke,
quenching the laughter and the candle flames. Eyes floated uneasily, not
knowing where to look. Lord Badgery, with great presence of mind,
offered the old man a glass of wine. Mr. Tillotson began to recover. The
guests heard him murmur a few disconnected words.
"This great honour ... overwhelmed with kindness ... this magnificent
banquet ... not used to it ... in Asia Minor ... _eructuvit cor meum_."
At this point Lord Badgery plucked sharply at one of his long coat
tails. Mr. Tillotson paused, took another sip of wine, and then went on
with a newly won coherence and energy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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