Motherhood and the Relationships of the SexesHartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
Philosophy
Motherhood and the Relationships of the Sexes
Hartley, C. Gasquoine (Catherine Gasquoine)
Mothers; Sex; Women -- Social and moral questions
I do not wish to follow this question here. It is, however, widely
evident that in the society we have evolved to-day there are many women
in whom, what I may perhaps call, an atrophy of the maternal instincts
has taken place. This may be regretted, it cannot wisely be blamed, for
it forms no solution of the problem thus to mark down for blame. There is
one way, and one way only, as far as I can see, whereby this great evil
that has happened and still is taking place might be stayed. The maternal
women, the mother type, should be the only women to be mothers; which is,
of course, the same thing as saying that every child should be born of
passionate desire.
But this is not so simple in practice as at first sight it seems; it
carries with it first the demand that women must be given the knowledge
and means to prevent the conception of every undesired child; and second,
and even more important, that all girls should be educated to understand
something at least of their sexual nature so that they may know their
own need and strongest instincts; then, does their desire turn towards
motherhood, they will be better able to choose as the father of their
children men who desire to be fathers as they desire to be mothers, so
that together they may decide the number of children they will bring into
the world and under what conditions. That is the only kind of motherhood
that will endure.
I am prepared for an objection here. I shall be told that a woman, much
less a girl, does not know whether she wants a child until she bears
one; that it is then her maternal instinct will develop. I do not believe
it. I find this is the opinion of men and of women who have failed to
think straight; both judge in these matters too arbitrarily and with too
little understanding. They forget how difficult it has been, and still
is, for any one of my sex to be at all sexually truthful. Considering
the folly of the education we give to girls, there is little reliance to
be placed on what any woman says about sex. What we need most of all is
the liberation of women’s instincts through education in consciousness.
Perhaps, then, we shall cease to expect the impossible, by which I mean
we shall not hope to make good mothers of the girls who have no deep
instinct to love children. I know, of course, that the girl who before
marriage does not love children, may, and as a rule will, love her own
child: but I am certain that in nine cases out of every ten she will do
so in the wrong way; the child will be cherished only as a possession of
herself, an extension of her own egoism, which is very far indeed from
what I hold as the self-giving character of the mother-woman. Here is one
reason why good motherhood is so rare.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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