Occasional newspaper stories moved him strangely. He lay awake almost
all of one night, on the canvas cot in a tent near the crest, going over
the details of one of these accounts that he had torn out of a paper and
kept folded up in his purse. It was from some upstate village,--and the
house servants of the mistress had aided in the attack upon her. What
would he have done if he had been near? Usually he portrayed himself as
the rescuer, nobly driving off the wicked assailants. But infrequent
gusts of emotion colored his fancies differently: he saw himself
successively in the role of each of the participants. He particularly
dwelt upon the woman's part. If he were only a girl now,--His body
warmed at vague visions of surrender.
He was a clean boy, in the main, bodily and mentally. His mother had
impressed purity upon him, as a thing to be always striven for; and he
had implicitly followed her, as far as he was able. This conversation
with Mary was connected, although he did not know it, with an incident
that had happened at Jackson on one of his earlier visits there, when
Aunt Lotta, Jimmy's mother, had found him under the porch hammock with
Lil--two babies beginning to scorch their untaught fingers at the bigger
fires of life.
There had been no punishment for this. Aunt Lotta had merely told the
children that only common boys and girls were naughty. This had been
enough.
Several years afterwards, when the cousins had visited the
mountain,--Pelham was hardly ten at the time,--his mind had been
somewhat disturbed by the loose talk of the bragging East Highlands
boys. He had discussed it with Lil on the comfortable pampas grass above
the chert quarry not far from the cottage.
"You know, Lil, all the boys and girls we know do these things.... Think
how bad I would feel, if I were with a girl, and didn't know how! If we
could find out ... together...."
"I suppose it would be all right, Pell."
That, however, was all that had come of it.
Now he had reached his last year at the high school. His marks had been
good, particularly in mathematics and English Literature. It had long
been assumed that he was to go to college, and fit himself to assist his
father's business in civil or mining engineering. He wanted to go to the
state university, but Paul's larger plans included a northern education;
after much balancing of catalogue advantages, Sheffield Scientific
School, at Yale, was decided upon.
Most of this summer too was spent at the grandparents' place; but he
came home early, to help his mother get his things ready for the longer
separation.
The last night, before his departure, when Mary came in for the
customary kiss, they conversed restrainedly at first. Soon she was
crying, and he was sobbing as if his throat would break.
"Mother's little boy! I don't know who I will turn to, when you're so
far away."
"It won't be for long, mother. And I'll write all the time."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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