Didactic fiction; Political fiction; Social problems -- Fiction
Austen had reached this phase in his reflections when he was aroused by a
metallic sound which arose above the resonant tones of the orator of the
day. A certain vessel, to the use of which, according to Mr. Dickens, the
satire male portion of the American nation was at one time addicted,--a
cuspidor, in plain language,--had been started, by some unknown agency in
the back seats, rolling down the centre aisle, and gathering impetus as
it went, bumped the louder on each successive step until it hurled itself
with a clash against the clerk's desk, at the feet of the orator himself.
During its descent a titter arose which gradually swelled into a roar of
laughter, and Austen's attention was once more focused upon the member
from Leith. But if any man had so misjudged the quality of Humphrey Crewe
as to suppose for an instant that he could be put out of countenance by
such a manoeuvre, that man was mightily mistaken. Mr. Crewe paused, with
his forefinger on the page, and fixed a glassy eye on the remote
neighbourhood in the back seats where the disturbance had started.
"I am much obliged to the gentleman," he said coldly, "but he has sent me
an article which I never use, under any conditions. I would not deprive
him of its convenience."
Whereupon, it is not too much to say, Mr. Crews was accorded an ovation,
led by his stanch friend and admirer, the Honourable Jacob Botcher,
although that worthy had been known to use the article in question.
Mr. Speaker Doby glanced at the faithful clock, and arose majestically.
"I regret to say," he announced, "that the time of the gentleman from
Leith is up."
Mr. Botcher rose slowly to his feet.
"Mr. Speaker," he began, in a voice that rumbled through the crevices of
the gallery, "I move you, sir, that a vote of thanks be accorded to the
gentleman from Leith for his exceedingly able and instructive speech on
national affairs."
"Second the motion," said the Honourable Brush Bascom, instantly.
"And leave to print in the State Tribune!" cried a voice from somewhere
among the submerged four hundred and seventy.
"Gentlemen of the House," said Mr. Crewe, when the laughter had subsided,
"I have given you a speech which is the result of much thought and
preparation on my part. I have not flaunted the star-spangled banner in
your faces, or indulged in oratorical fireworks. Mine have been the words
of a plain business man, and I have not indulged in wild accusations or
flights of imagination. Perhaps, if I had," he added, "there are some who
would have been better pleased. I thank my friends for their kind
attention and approbation."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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