Mr. DOOLEY SAYS BY THE AUTHOR OF "MR. DOOLEY IN PEACE AND IN WAR," "MR. DOOLEY IN THE HEARTS OF HIS COUNTRYMEN", ETC. NEW YORK, CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS CONTENTS PAGE DIVORCE 1 GLORY 14 WOMAN SUFFRAGE 25 THE BACHELOR TAX 40 THE RISING OF THE SUBJECT RACES 50 PANICS 67 OCEAN TRAVEL 78 WORK 89 DRUGS 100 A BROKEN FRIENDSHIP 106 THE ARMY CANTEEN 110 THINGS SPIRITUAL 123 BOOKS 134 THE TARIFF 144 THE BIG FINE 158 EXPERT TESTIMONY 168 THE CALL OF THE WILD 180 THE JAPANESE SCARE 193 THE HAGUE CONFERENCE 204 TURKISH POLITICS 214 VACATIONS 227 Mr. DOOLEY SAYS DIVORCE "Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "I see they've been holdin' a Divoorce Congress." "What's that?" asked Mr. Hennessy. "Ye wudden't know," said Mr. Dooley. "Divoorce is th' on'y luxury supplied be th' law that we don't injye in Ar-rchey Road. Up here whin a marrid couple get to th' pint where 'tis impossible f'r thim to go on livin' together they go on livin' together. They feel that way some mornin' in ivry month, but th' next day finds thim still glarin' at each other over th' ham an' eggs. No wife iver laves her husband while he has th' breath iv life in him, an' anny gintleman that took a thrip to Reno in ordher to saw off th' housekeepin' expinses on a rash successor wud find throuble ready f'r him whin he come back to Ar-rchey Road. No, sir, whin our people grab hands at th' altar, they're hooked up f'river. There's on'y wan decree iv divoorce that th' neighbors will recognize, an' that's th' wan that entitles ye to ride just behind th' pall bearers. That's why I'm a batch. 'Tis th' fine skylark iv a timprary husband I'd make, bringin' home a new wife ivry Foorth iv July an' dischargin' th' old wan without a charackter. But th' customs iv th' neighbors are agin it. "But 'tis diff'rent with others, Hinnissy. Down be Mitchigan Avnoo marredge is no more bindin' thin a dhream. A short marrid life an' an onhappy wan is their motto. Off with th' old love an' on with th' new an' off with that. 'Till death us do part,' says th' preacher. 'Or th' jury,' whispers th' blushin' bride.