"No matther. 'Tis you that has done it. I give great credit to George B.
Cortilyoo, J. Pierpont Morgan, Lord Rothschild, Jawn D. Rockyfellar,
th' banks iv Ameriky, th' clearing house comity, th' clearing out
comity, an' all th' brave an' gallant fellows that have stood firmly
with their backs to th' wall an' declared that anny money taken out iv
their institutions wud be taken over their dead bodies. They have
behaved as American gintlemen shud behave whin foorce iv circumstances
compels thim to behave that way. But if, in this tur-rible imergency I
am obliged to tell th' truth, I've got to confess to ye that th' thanks
iv th' nation, a little bit late, but very corjal, are due to th' boys
that niver had a cent in th' banks, an' niver will have. They have
disturbed none iv our institutions. No great leader iv fi-nance has
turned green to see wan iv thim thryin' to do th' leap f'r life through
a closed payin' teller's window. Th' fellow that with wan whack iv a
hammer can convart a steer into an autymobill or can mannyfacther a
pearl necklace out iv two dollars' worth iv wurruk on a slag pile, has
throubled no wan. Ye're th' boy in this imergency, Hinnissy. Th' other
mornin' I was readin' th' pa-apers about th' panic in Wall Sthreet an'
though I've niver seen annything all me life but wan continyal panic I
felt low in me mind ontil I looked up an' see ye go by with ye'er shovel
on ye'er shouldher an' me heart leaped up. I wanted to rush to th'
tillygraft office and wire me frind J. Pierpont Morgan: 'Don't be
downcast. It's all right. I just see Hinnissy go by with his shovel.'
"No, sir, ye can bet it ain't th' people that have no money that causes
panics. Panics are th' result iv too manny people havin' money. Th' top
iv good times is hard times and th' bottom iv hard times is good times.
Whin I see wan man with a shovel on his shouldher dodgin' eight thousand
autymobills I begin to think 'tis time to put me money in me boot."
"'Tis hard f'r me to undherstand what's goin' on," said Mr. Hennessy.
"What does it all mean?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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