Mr. Jervis, Vol. 3 (of 3)Croker, B. M. (Bithia Mary)
History
Mr. Jervis, Vol. 3 (of 3)
Croker, B. M. (Bithia Mary)
British -- India -- Fiction; India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction; Mate selection -- Fiction
“Since I last wrote to you I have been with my father; he sent for
me suddenly, and I went off the same hour, as his note said that
he was very ill. I found him living forty miles from this, in an
isolated house, part of the Cardozo property, and under the name of
Mr. Jones--a name he has adopted for the last seven years. I never
would have recognized him, he is so broken down, and quite an infirm
old man. This is the effect of the accident that killed his wife.
But this is not the worst. His mind is deranged, which accounts for
his strange silence and many other things. At times, such as at the
present moment, he is perfectly clear and collected, but at others
he suffers from depression and melancholia, and sits silent for days
and weeks. He is alive to his own infirmity, and that is why he has
chosen this life of seclusion. Until recently he had one of his former
sowars living with him, an invaluable companion; and now that he is
dead--an irreparable loss--Uncle Dan, I am going to tell you something
that will be a shock, as well as displeasing, to you--I am about to
take the place of this faithful servant, and endeavour to be his
substitute. My father is a forlorn and stricken man; he has no one but
me to look to--he does look to me, and I will not fail him. He is not
wealthy--the begum’s riches, Mrs. Jervis’s fortune (minus a certain
annuity), is strictly reserved for her next of kin, Fernandez Cardozo.
He is not a bad sort, and has been looking after my father and his
affairs--in short, fulfilling _my_ duty; but I shall relieve him of
all this, and remain out here as long as my father lives. I am afraid
that at first you will think I am treating you badly and ungratefully;
but this I know, that, were _you_ in my place, you would do the same
yourself. Of course I forfeit all claim on you by such a step as I
am about to take, and it is a step which has cost a struggle. I am
going to lead a different life to that to which I have been brought
up. I shall be isolated and out of the world, for I can never leave my
father even for a day. Once I take up my post, I shall stick to it.
“I have found your letter here awaiting me--your letter about Miss
Gordon. Of course that is all at an end now. As for her not being good
enough for me, it is the other way about. She is the only girl I ever
cared for. I shall never marry now, but will adopt the profession I
chose as a child, and live and die a bachelor. I wonder that I can
joke, for I need hardly tell you that I am not in a merry mood. I feel
as if everything had gone from me at one blow, and I am left face to
face with a new life and an inflexible duty. Whatever you may think
of me, Uncle Dan, my feelings towards you will never change; I shall
always think of you with affection and gratitude.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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