"When the young men of any city become weary with the more common excitements, the theatre and the bullfight, they organise a 'revolution.' For this 'outing' they call together their friends, arm themselves, establish a camp on the outlying hills, and make ready for 'slaughter.' The 'loyalists'--salaried clerks usually, with a few hangers-on--rush out to meet the belligerents, and approach to within a reasonably safe distance, when both sides 'fall in,' fire simultaneously--each over the others' heads--when all break and run for the treasury. "If the 'loyalists' win the race they vote themselves extra pay, smoke a cigar, and enjoy a _siesta_; while if the others win, the treasury is looted, a new set of clerks installed, the taxes are raised to repair the damages, and the new 'push' enjoy the _siesta_. "The security of the public from too frequent changes rests in the fact that usually the camp of the 'loyalists' is taken up between that of the insurgents and the treasury, so the 'loyalists' have a shorter run to make in the home stretch. "Think, my children, what civilisation would have been to-day had the British been content to remain on their Island home, or had both the Americas been permanently held by the Spanish race--or, to judge by later history, by any other than the Anglo-Saxon. "Well, my friends, I have no interest in booming any country, but if I had owned all Spanish-America in 'fee simple,' and had a long lease on Hades, I would rent my freehold out, and reside on my other holding." (Leo remarks:--"Oh, for a laugh with Sir Marmaduke.") "No," said the sage, "there is nothing worthy of imitation in Spanish-America, and there is no room under the present rule in these countries for the staid virtues of the Shadowas." _SCENE VI._ AMERICA "DISCOVERED." Oseba said he was now to return to rather favourite pastures. He was now to review the situation of a country unanimously admitted, by all its millions of proud and patriotic people, to be the "greatest country," not only on this earth, but in the Universe--and this, of course, meant America. Leo Bergin, having been born in America, seemed to be "at home" to these graceful compliments. Oseba said that before he reached America, that country had been somewhat "discovered" by a Mr. Morgan, who had much of it done up in a shawl strap, but that it was still considerably in business. This American nation, he said, sprang from the loins of Britain, and its founders had inherited their fibre from that "classic land of liberty." Being strongly imbued with the British spirit, and being impressed by their novel surroundings, they broke the thread of tradition, and, having established a government based upon the consent of the governed, they demonstrated the possibility of a civilised state without a king or a bishop. Here the orator grew eloquent, "as if to the manner born," and I quote:--