Mr. Pickwick's Christmas: Being an Account of the Pickwickians' Christmas at the Manor Farm, of the Adventures There; the Tale of the Goblin Who Stole a Sexton, and of the Famous Sports on the IceDickens, Charles
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Mr. Pickwick's Christmas: Being an Account of the Pickwickians' Christmas at the Manor Farm, of the Adventures There; the Tale of the Goblin Who Stole a Sexton, and of the Famous Sports on the Ice
Dickens, Charles
Christmas stories
“Yes, certainly,” replied Mr. Pickwick, wringing the water from his head
and face, and gasping for breath. “I fell upon my back. I couldn’t get
on my feet at first.”
The clay upon so much of Mr. Pickwick’s coat as was yet visible, bore
testimony to the accuracy of this statement; and as the fears of the
spectators were still further relieved by the fat boy’s suddenly
recollecting that the water was nowhere more than five feet deep,
prodigies of valour were performed to get him out. After a vast quantity
of splashing, and cracking, and struggling, Mr. Pickwick was at length
fairly extricated from his unpleasant position, and once more stood on
dry land.
“Oh, he’ll catch his death of cold,” said Emily.
“Dear old thing!” said Arabella. “Let me wrap this shawl round you, Mr.
Pickwick.”
“Ah, that’s the best thing you can do,” said Wardle; “and when you’ve
got it on, run home as fast as your legs can carry you, and jump into
bed directly.”
A dozen shawls were offered on the instant; and three or four of the
thickest having been selected, Mr. Pickwick was wrapped up, and started
off, under the guidance of Mr. Weller; presenting the singular
phenomenon of an elderly gentleman dripping wet, and without a hat, with
his arms bound down to his sides, skimming over the ground without any
clearly defined purpose, at the rate of six good English miles an hour.
But Mr. Pickwick cared not for appearances in such an extreme case, and
urged on by Sam Weller, he kept at the very top of his speed until he
reached the door of Manor Farm, where Mr. Tupman had arrived some five
minutes before, and had frightened the old lady into palpitations of the
heart, by impressing her with the unalterable conviction that the
kitchen chimney was on fire—a calamity which always presented itself in
the most glowing colours to the old lady’s mind, when anybody about her
evinced the smallest agitation.
Mr. Pickwick paused not an instant until he was snug in bed. Sam Weller
lighted a blazing fire in the room, and took up his dinner; a bowl of
punch was carried up afterwards, and a grand carouse held in honour of
his safety. Old Wardle would not hear of his rising, so they made the
bed the chair, and Mr. Pickwick presided. A second and a third bowl were
ordered in; and when Mr. Pickwick awoke next morning, there was not a
symptom of rheumatism about him, which proves, as Mr. Bob Sawyer very
justly observed, that there is nothing like hot punch in such cases, and
that if ever hot punch did fail to act as a preventive, it was merely
because the patient fell into the vulgar error of not taking enough of
it.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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