Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three ActsMilne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
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Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts
Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
English drama -- 20th century
GEORGE. My dear Olivia, if you can't see that--a--a--oh, well!
OLIVIA. Oh! A convict! So, you see, we needn't be too particular about
our niece, need we?
GEORGE. I think we had better leave your first husband out of the
conversation altogether. I never wished to refer to him; I never wish to
hear about him again. I certainly had not realized that he was actually--
er--well--convicted for his--er--(_moving to writing-table and picking up
his cap_).
OLIVIA. Mistakes. GEORGE. Well, we needn't go into that. As for this
other matter, I don't for a moment take it seriously. Dinah is an
exceptionally pretty girl, and young. Strange is a good-looking boy.
(_Coming down to back of settee_ L.) If they are attracted to each other,
it is a mere outward attraction which I am convinced will not lead to any
lasting happiness. (OLIVIA _is about to protest_.) That must be regarded
as my last word in the matter, Olivia. If this Mr.--er--what was his
name, comes, I shall be down at the farm. (GEORGE _goes out by the
staircase up_ R.)
(_Left alone,_ OLIVIA _rises, goes up_ C., _takes up her curtains again
and crossing down_ L. _sits on settee, and gets calmly to work upon
them_.)
(DINAH _comes in by the windows from up_ R. _and crosses to_ L. _window
at back, then seeing_ OLIVIA, _beckons to_ BRIAN _and runs down to back
of settee to_ R. _of_ OLIVIA. BRIAN _enters from up_ R., _and follows
down to back of table_ L.C.)
DINAH (_over back of settee_). Finished?
OLIVIA (_startled_). Oh, no, I've got all these rings to put on.
DINAH. I meant talking to George.
OLIVIA. Oh!
BRIAN. We walked about outside----
DINAH. Until we heard him _not_ talking to you any more----
BRIAN. And we didn't kiss each other once.
DINAH AND BRIAN (_pointing roguishly and with satisfaction at_ OLIVIA).
Ah!
DINAH. Brian was very George-like. He wouldn't even let me tickle the
back of his neck. (_She goes suddenly to_ OLIVIA _and sits on her_ L.)
Darling (_putting her arms round_ OLIVIA _and kissing her_), being
George-like is a very nice thing to be--I mean a nice thing for other
people to be--I mean--oh, you know what I mean. But say that he's going
to be decent about it.
OLIVIA. Of course he is, Dinah.
BRIAN (_sits on stool_ L.C., _and leans forward eagerly_). You mean he'll
let me come here as--as----
DINAH. As my young man?
OLIVIA. Oh, I think so.
DINAH (_kissing_ OLIVIA). Olivia, you're a wonder.
(_Embraces her round the neck_.)
(_Rising and crossing below_ BRIAN, _touching him on the shoulder_.)
Brian!
(_Crossing to piano, sits and plays five bars of "The Wedding March,"
rises and crosses at back of_ BRIAN _to_ L. _of_ OLIVIA _behind settee_.)
Have you really talked him round?
OLIVIA. I haven't said anything yet.
DINAH (_very disappointed_). Oh!
(BRIAN _rises and backs to_ C.)
OLIVIA. But I dare say I shall think of something.
BRIAN. Oh! my lord.
DINAH (_disappointedly_). Oh!
BRIAN (_going up_ C.). After all, Dinah, I'm going back to London
to-morrow----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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