Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three ActsMilne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
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Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts
Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
English drama -- 20th century
PIM. Oh, very good ... very good. (_To_ OLIVIA.) You see, Mrs. Marden, I
have only recently arrived from Australia--(OLIVIA _stops in her sewing
and_ GEORGE _looks up_)--after travelling about the world for some years,
and I'm rather out of touch with my--er--fellow-workers in London.
OLIVIA. I see! You've been in Australia, Mr. Pim?
PIM. Oh, yes, I----
GEORGE (_after a loud cough_). Sorry to keep you waiting, Mr. Pim. I
shan't be a moment.
PIM. Oh, that's all right, thank you. (_To_ OLIVIA.) Oh, yes, I have been
in Australia more than once in the last few years.
OLIVIA. Really? I used to live at Sydney many years ago. Do you know
Sydney at all?
PIM. Oh, yes, I was----
GEORGE (_coughing_). H'r'm! Perhaps I'd better mention that you are a
friend of the Trevors?
PIM. Thank you, thank you. (_To_ OLIVIA.) Indeed yes, I spent several
months in Sydney a few years ago.
OLIVIA. How curious! I wonder if we have any friends in common there.
GEORGE (_coughing and gruffly_). Extremely unlikely, I should think.
Sydney is a very big place.
PIM. True, true, but the world is a very small place, Mr. Marden. I had a
remarkable instance of that, coming over on the boat this last time.
GEORGE. Ah! (_Feeling that the conversation is now safe, he resumes his
letter_.)
PIM. Yes. There was a man I used to employ in Sydney some years ago, a
bad fellow, I'm afraid, Mrs. Marden, who had been in prison for some kind
of fraudulent company-promoting and had taken to drink and--and so on.
OLIVIA. Yes, yes, I understand.
PIM. Drinking himself to death, I should have said. I gave him at the
most another year to live. Yet to my amazement the first person I saw as
I stepped on board the boat that brought me to England last week was this
fellow. There was no mistaking him. I spoke to him, in fact; we
recognized each other.
(GEORGE _rises_.)
OLIVIA. Really?
PIM. He was travelling steerage; we didn't meet again on board, and as it
happened at Marseilles, this poor fellow--er--now what was his name? A
very unusual one. Began with a--a T, I think.
OLIVIA (_with suppressed feeling_). Yes, Mr. Pim, yes? (_She puts out a
hand to_ GEORGE.)
GEORGE (_in an undertone, taking her hand_). Nonsense, dear!
PIM (_triumphantly_). I've got it! Telworthy!
OLIVIA (_draws back in settee, overcome_). Telworthy!
GEORGE. Good God!
PIM (_a little surprised at the success of his story_). An unusual name,
is it not? Not a name you could forget when once you had heard it.
OLIVIA (_with feeling, gazing into space with hands clenched_). No, it is
not a name you could forget when once you had heard it.
GEORGE (_hastily coming over to_ PIM). Quite so, Mr. Pim, a most
remarkable name, a most odd story altogether. Well, well, here's your
letter--(PIM _rises and tales letter_)--and if you're sure you won't stay
to lunch----
PIM. No, thank you. You see, I'm lunching with----
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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