Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three ActsMilne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
General
Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts
Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
English drama -- 20th century
GEORGE. Well, you see, my dear, these things have to be done legally, of
course. (_Moving to_ R. _to settee, thinking it out_.) I believe the
proper method is a nullity suit, declaring our marriage null and--er--
void. It would, so to speak, wipe out these years of--er---(_Moving back
to_ C.)
OLIVIA. Wickedness?
GEORGE. Of irregular union, and-er--then----
OLIVIA. Then I could go back to Jacob.... Do you really mean that,
George?
GEORGE (_uneasily_). Well, dear, you see-that's how things are--one
can't get away from--er------
OLIVIA. What you feel is that Telworthy has the greater claim? You are
prepared to--make way for him?
GEORGE. Both the Church and the Law would say that I had no claim at all,
I'm afraid. I--I suppose I haven't.
OLIVIA. I see. (_She looks at him curiously_.) Thank you for making it so
clear, George.
GEORGE. Of course, whether or not you go back to--er--Telworthy is
another matter altogether. (_Crossing to fireplace_.) That would
naturally be for you to decide.
OLIVIA (_cheerfully_). For me and Jacko to decide.
GEORGE. Er--Jacko?
OLIVIA. I used to call my first husband--I mean my only husband--Jacko. I
didn't like the name of Jacob, and Jacko seemed to suit him somehow.
(_Enjoying the joke_.) He had very long arms. (GEORGE _is very annoyed_.)
Poor Jacko.
GEORGE (_annoyed_). You don't seem to realize that this is not a joke,
Olivia.
OLIVIA (_still amused_). It may not be a joke, but it is funny, isn't it?
GEORGE. I must say I don't see anything funny in a tragedy that has
wrecked two lives.
OLIVIA. Two? Oh, but Jacko's life isn't wrecked. It has just been
miraculously restored to him. And a wife, too. There's nothing tragic for
Jacko in it.
GEORGE (_stiffly_). I was referring to _our_ two lives--yours and mine.
OLIVIA. Yours, George? Your life isn't wrecked. The Court will absolve
you of all blame; your friends will sympathize with you, and tell you
that I was a designing woman who deliberately took you in; your Aunt
Julia--
GEORGE (_overwrought_). Stop it! (_Crossing over to her_.) What do you
mean? Have you no heart? (OLIVIA _gives a little hurt cry_.) Do you think
I _want_ to lose you, Olivia? (_Sits on her_ L.) Do you think I _want_ my
home broken up like this? Haven't you been happy with me these last five
years?
OLIVIA. Very happy.
GEORGE. Well then, how can you talk like that?
OLIVIA. But you want to send me away,
GEORGE. There you go again. I don't _want_ to. I have hardly had time to
realize just what it will mean to me when you go. The fact is I simply
daren't realize it. I daren't think about it.
OLIVIA. Try thinking about it, George.
GEORGE. And you talk as if I _wanted_ to send you away!
OLIVIA. Try thinking about it, George.
GEORGE. You don't seem to understand that I'm not _sending_ you away. You
simply aren't mine to keep.
OLIVIA. Whose am I?
GEORGE (_dubiously_). Your husband's. Telworthy's.
OLIVIA (_gently_). If I belong to anybody but myself, I think I belong to
you.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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