Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts — John Shaqi
Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three ActsMilne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
General
Mr. Pim Passes By: A Comedy in Three Acts
Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander)
English drama -- 20th century
DINAH (_coming to back of table_ L.C.). Of course, something very, very
wonderful did happen last night. (_Backing away_.) No, no! I'm not sure
if I know you well enough--(_She looks at him hesitatingly_.)
PIM (_uncomfortably_). Really, Miss Marden, you mustn't. I am only a--a
passer-by, here to-day and gone to-morrow. You really mustn't--
DINAH (_looking round and earning down to_ PIM), And yet there's
something about you, Mr. Pim, which inspires confidence.
PIM (_moving to_ L.). Oh, no. Really, you mustn't tell me.
DINAH (_taking his arm_). The fact is--(_in a stage whisper_)--I got
engaged last night!
PIM. Dear me, let me congratulate you. I wish somebody would come here.
DINAH (_running up to foot of staircase up_ R. _and looking off_), I
expect that's why George is keeping you such a long time. (_Turning to_
PIM.) Brian, my young man, the well-known painter--only nobody has ever
heard of him--he's smoking a pipe with George in the library and asking
for his niece's hand. (_Coming back to_ PIM, _and taking his hands, she
dances round with him in a circle_.)
(PIM _falls exhausted and coughing on to settee_ L. _and_ DINAH _laughing
sits on settee_ R.)
DINAH. Isn't it exciting? You're really rather lucky, Mr. Pim--I mean
being told so soon. Even Olivia doesn't know yet.
PIM. Yes, yes, I congratulate you, Miss Marden. Perhaps it would be
better--(_About to get up_.)
(ANNE _comes in from staircase up_ R. _She comes to_ C.)
ANNE. Mr. Marden is out at the moment, sir--
DINAH (_disappointed_). Oh!
ANNE (_seeing_ DINAH). Oh, I didn't see you, Miss Dinah!
PIM. Out! Eh? Dear! Dear!
DINAH, It's all right, Anne. (_Rising_.) _I'm_ looking after Mr. Pim.
ANNE. Very well, Miss.
PIM (_sotto voce_). Out! Oh, well, I'd better go--
(_Exit_ ANNE _up staircase_ B.)
DINAH (_excitedly_). That's me. (_Running up to foot of staircase and
watching_ ANNE _off_.) They can't discuss me in the library without
breaking down--(_coming down_ R. _and imitating_ GEORGE _and_ BRIAN)--so
they're walking up and down outside, and slashing at the thistles in
order to conceal their emotion. You know. I expect Brian--(_Crossing up
to_ R. _of window_.)
PIM (_rising, calling_). Miss Marden! Miss Marden! (_Looking at his
watch_.) Yes, I think, Miss Marden, I had better go now and return a
little later. I have a telegram which I want to send, and perhaps by the
time I come back your uncle will be able--
DINAH (_coming to_ PIM). Oh, but how disappointing of you, when we were
getting on together so nicely! And it was just going to be your turn to
tell me all about yourself.
PIM. I have really nothing to tell, Miss Marden. I have a letter of
introduction to your uncle, who in turn will give me, I hope, a letter to
a certain distinguished man whom it is necessary for me to meet. That is
all. (_Holding out his hand_.) And now, Miss Marden, I really think I'd
better be going.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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