Humorous stories; London (England) -- Fiction; Wealth -- Fiction
He went off to greet and welcome Bishop, full of joy at the prospect of
tasting anew the rich personality of his old friend. It is true that he
had a qualm about the expense of standing Bishop a lunch--a fellow who
relished his food and drink and could distinguish between the best and
the second best; but on the other hand he could talk very freely to
Bishop concerning the crisis in which he found himself; and he knew that
Bishop would not allow Bishop's affairs, however troublesome they might
be, unduly to bother _him_.
Bishop was not on the bench in the hall where visitors were appointed to
wait. Only one man was on the bench, a spectacled, red-faced person. Mr.
Prohack glanced about. Then the page-girl pointed to the spectacled
person, who jumped up and approached Mr. Prohack somewhat effusively.
"How d'ye do, Prohack?"
"Well, _Bishop_!" Mr. Prohack responded. "It's _you_!"
It was another Bishop, a Bishop whom he had forgotten, a Bishop who had
resigned from the club earlier and disappeared. Mr. Prohack did not like
him. Mr. Prohack said to himself: "This fellow is after something, and I
always knew he was an adventurer."
"Funny feeling it gives you to be asked to wait in the hall of a club
that you used to belong to!" said Bishop.
The apparently simple words, heavy with sinister significance, sank
like a depth-charge into Mr. Prohack's consciousness.
"Among other things," said Mr. Prohack to himself, "this fellow is very
obviously after a free lunch."
Now Mr. Prohack suffered from a strange form of insincerity, which he
had often unsuccessfully tried to cure, partly because it advantaged
unsympathetic acquaintances at his expense, and partly because his wife
produced unanswerable arguments against it with mortal effect. Although
an unconceited man (as men go), and a very honest man, he could not help
pretending to like people whom he did not like. And he pretended with a
histrionic skill that deceived everybody--sometimes even himself. There
may have been some good-nature in this moral twist of his; but he well
knew that it originated chiefly in three morbid desires,--the desire to
please, the desire to do the easiest thing, and the desire to nourish
his reputation for amiability.
So that when the unexpected Mr. Bishop (whose Christian name was Softly)
said to him: "I won't keep you now. Only I was passing and I want you to
be kind enough to make an early appointment with me at some time and
place entirely convenient to yourself," Mr. Prohack proceeded to
persuade Mr. Bishop to stay to lunch, there being no sort of reason in
favour of such a course, and various sound reasons against it. Mr.
Prohack deceived Mr. Softly Bishop as follows:
"No time and place like the present. You must stay to lunch. This is
your old club and you must stay to lunch."
"But you've begun your lunch," Bishop protested.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account