_Brown._ Yes--but Robinson likes that sort of thing. You will see by-and-by how the plot will affect him. It is rather jumpy, especially at the end, when the severed head tells the story of the murder to the assistant executioner. I would not see it again on any account. _Jones._ No--it sent my maiden aunt in hysterics. However, it has the merit of being short. (_Applause._) Ah, there it's over! Let's see how Robinson likes it. That _tableau_ at the end, of the starving-coastguardsman expiring under the rack, is perfectly awful! (_Enter Robinson, staggering in._) Why, my boy, what's the matter? _Brown._ You do look scared! Have something to drink? That will set it all to-rights! _Robinson_ (_with his eyes protruding from his head, from horror_). Help, help! help! (_After a long shudder._) Brandy! Brandy!! Brandy!!! [_At all the places at the bar there is a general demand for alcohol._ _Brown._ Yes. Irving was right; soda-water does very well for Shakspeare's histories, but when you come to a piece like _The Bells_, you require supporting. [_Curtain and moral._ * * * * * [Illustration: _Manager of "Freak" Show._ "Have I got a vacancy for a giant? Why, you don't look five feet!" _Candidate._ "Yes, that's just it. I'm the smallest giant on record!"] * * * * * [Illustration: AN IRRESISTIBLE APPEAL.--_Mrs. Blokey_ (_who has called with a letter of introduction on Mr. Roscius Lamborn, the famous actor and manager_). "And I've brought you my son, who's breakin' his mother's 'art, Mr. Lamborn! He insists on givin' up the city and goin' on the stage--and his father an alderman and 'im in his father's business, and all the family thought of so 'ighly in Clapham! It's a _great grief_ to us, _I assure_ you, Mr. Lamborn! Oh! if you could only dissuade 'im! But it's too late for that, I'm afraid, so p'raps you wouldn't mind givin' him a leadin' part in your next piece!"] * * * * * [Illustration: WHAT OUR DRAMATIST HAS TO PUT UP WITH.--_His Wife_ (_reading a Sunday paper_). "_A propos of Hamlet_, they say here that you and Shakspeare represent the very opposite poles of the dramatic art!" _He._ "Ah! that's a nasty one for Shakspeare!"] * * * * * [Illustration: OVERHEARD OUTSIDE A THEATRE "Yah! Waitin' ter see der _kids_ play!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Actor_ (_excitedly_). "For _two_ long _years_ have I----" _A Voice from above._ "So you 'ave, guv'nor!"] * * * * * [Illustration: STUDY Of an ancient buck at a modern burlesque] * * * * * [Illustration: COLOURED CLERGY (_A Memory of St. James's Hall_)