Long way from London--no matter--fast train--soon here--once here don't wish to leave--palatial hotels--every luxury--good _tables d'hôte_--pleasant balls--lively society! Exhilarating air--good as champagne without "morning after"--up early--go to bed late--authorities provide something better than a broken-down pier, a circulating library, and a rickety bathing-machine--authorities disburse large sums for benefit of visitors--visitors spend lots of money in town--mutual satisfaction--place crowded--capital bands--excellent theatricals --varied entertainments--right way to do it! The Spa--first discovered 1620--people been discovering it ever since--some drink it--more walk on it--lounge on it--smoke on it--flirt on it--wonderful costumes in the morning--more wonderful in the afternoon--most wonderful in the evening! North Sands--South Sands--fine old Castle well placed--picturesque old town--well-built modern terraces, squares and streets--pony-chaises--riding-horses--Lift for lazy ones! Capital excursions--Oliver's Mount--Carnelian Bay--Scalby Mill--Hackness--Wykeham--Filey! Delightful gardens--secluded seats --hidden nooks--shady bowers--well-screened corners--Northern Belles--bright eyes--soft nothings--eloquent sighs--squozen hands--before you know where you are--ask papa--all up--dangerous very! Overcome by feelings--can't write any more--friend asks me to drink waters--query North Chalybeate or South Salt Well--wonder which--if in doubt try soda qualified with brandy--good people scarce--better run no risk! [Illustration: A CUTTER MAKING FOR THE PEER HEAD] * * * * * COSTUME IN KEEPING.--"Of all sweet things", said Bertha, "for the seaside, give me a serge." The Ancient Mariner shook his head. He didn't see the joke. * * * * * BOARD AND LODGING!--_Landlady._ "Yes, sir, the board were certingly to be a guinea a week, but I didn't know as you was a-going to bathe in the sea before breakfast and take bottles of tonic during the day!" * * * * * [Illustration: THE DONKEYS' HOLIDAY With compliments to the S.P.C.A.] * * * * * [Illustration: LABELLED!] * * * * * [Illustration: NAUGHTICAL? _Yachting Friend_ (_playfully_). "Have you any experience of squalls, Brown?" _Brown._ "Squalls!" (_Seriously._) "My dear sir, I've brought up ten in family!"] * * * * * [Illustration: SOCIAL BEINGS Wearied by London dissipation, the Marjoribanks Browns go, for the sake of perfect quiet, to that picturesque little watering-place, Shrimpington-super-Mare, where they trust that they will not meet a single soul they know. Oddly enough, the Cholmondeley Joneses go to the same spot with the same purpose.