A happiness of resting after strife, Where one forgets all worldly pain and sorrow, And one contentedly could pass one's life. (A telegram will take _me_ home to-morrow.) * * * * * SCENE: MARGATE BEACH ON EASTER MONDAY.--_First Lady._ "Oh, here comes a steamer. How high she is out of the water." _Second Lady._ "Yes, dear, but don't you see? It's because the tide's so low." * * * * * [Illustration: AWKWARD _The aristocratic Jones_ (_rather ashamed of his loud acquaintance, Brown_). "You must excuse me, but if there's one thing in the world I particularly object to, it's to having anybody take my arm!" _Brown._ "All right, old fellow!--_you_ take _mine_!"] * * * * * THE SEASIDE VISITOR'S VADE MECUM. _Question._ Is it your intention to leave London at once to benefit by the ocean breezes on the English coast? _Answer._ Certainly, with the bulk of my neighbours. _Q._ Then the metropolis will become empty? _A._ Practically, for only about three and a half millions out of the four millions will be left behind. _Q._ What do you consider the remaining residuum? _A._ From a West End point of view a negligible quantity. _Q._ Do not some of the Eastenders visit the seaside? _A._ Yes, at an earlier period in the year, when they pay rather more for their accommodation than their neighbours of the West. _Q._ How can this be, if it be assumed that the East is poorer than the West? _A._ The length of the visit is governed by the weight of the purse. Belgravia stays a couple of months at Eastbourne, while three days at Margate is enough for Shoreditch. _Q._ Has a sojourn by the sea waves any disadvantages? _A._ Several. In the first instance, lodgings are frequently expensive and uncomfortable. Then there is always a chance that the last lodgers may have occupied their rooms as convalescents. Lastly, it is not invariably the case that the climate agrees with himself and his family. _Q._ And what becomes of the house in town? _A._ If abandoned to a caretaker, the reception rooms may be used by her own family as best chambers, and if let to strangers, the furniture may be injured irretrievably. _Q._ But surely in the last case there would be the certainty of pecuniary indemnity? _A._ Cherished relics cannot be restored by their commonplace value in money. _Q._ Then, taking one thing with another, the benefit of a visit to the seaside is questionable? _A._ Assuredly; and an expression of heartfelt delight at the termination of the outing and the consequent return home is the customary finish to the, styled by courtesy, holiday. _Q._ But has not the seaside visit a compensating advantage? _A._ The seaside visit has a compensating advantage of overwhelming proportions, which completely swallows up and effaces all suggestions of discomfort--it is the fashion. * * * * * [Illustration: PARIS?