Sunny or soaking, it's All one to him, Wandering painfully-- Curious whim! Gazing at china-shops. Gaping at sea, Guzzling at beer-shops, or Gorging at tea. Why don't he stay at home, Save his train fare, Soak at his native beer, Sunday clothes wear? No one would grudge it him, No one would jeer. Why does he come away? Why is he here? * * * * * [Illustration: BLACKPOOL] * * * * * [Illustration: BRIGHTON] * * * * * [Illustration: MARGATE] * * * * * [Illustration: A SLIGHT MISUNDERSTANDING _Landlady._ "I hope you slept well, sir?" _New Boarder._ "No, I didn't. I've been troubled with insomnia." _Landlady._ "Look here, young man. I'll give you a sovereign for every one you find in that bed!"] * * * * * [Illustration: TOUCHING APPEAL _Testy Old Gent._ (_wearied by the importunities of the Brighton boatmen_). "Confound it, man! Do I _look_ as if I wanted a boat?"] * * * * * ROBERT AT THE SEASIDE I've bin spending my long Wacation of a fortnite at Northgate. Northgate's a nice quiet place, Northgate is, tho' it quite fails in most things that constitoots reel injoyment at the seaside, such as Bands and Niggers and Minstrels and all that. It's a grand place for weather, for it generally blows hard at Northgate, and wen it doesn't blow hard it rains hard, which makes a nice change, and a change is wot we all goes to the seaside for. It seems a werry favrite place for inwaleeds, for the place is full on 'em, Bath cheers is in great demand and all the seats on the Prade is allus occypied by 'em. Dr. Scratchem too sends most of his favrite cases there, and you can't walk on the Peer without facing lots on 'em. Brown says the place makes him as sollem as a Common Cryer, and he hasn't had a good hearty larf since he came here, but then Brown isn't quite sattisfied with his Lodgings, and has acshally recommended his Land Lady to turn her house into the Norfolk Howard Hotel, _Unlimited_, so perhaps she may account for his want of spirits. Northgate's rather a rum place as regards the tide. Wen it's eye it comes all over the place and makes such a jolly mess, and wen it's low it runs right out to sea and you can't see it. Brown tried to persuade me as how as one werry eye tide was a spring tide, but as it was in September I wasn't so green as to beleeve that rubbish.