_Alf_ (_rejoining his fiancée with a grimy face, a smashed hat, and a pathetic attempt at a grin_). Well? I _done_ it, you see! _Miss S._ (_crushingly_). Yes, you _have_ done it! And the best thing you can do now, is to go home and wash your face. _I_ don't care to be seen about with a _laughing-stock_, I can assure you! I've had my dignity lowered quite enough as it is! _Alf._ But look 'ere, my dear girl, I can't leave you here all by yourself you know! _Miss S._ I dare say Mr. Perkins will take care of me. [_Mr. P. assents, with effusion._ _Alf_ (_watching them move away--with bitterness_). I wish all Niggers were put down by Act of Parliament, I do! Downright noosances--that's what _they_ are! * * * * * [Illustration: STOPPING AT A WATERING PLACE] * * * * * [Illustration: EAST-BORN] * * * * * [Illustration: WEST-BORN] * * * * * [Illustration] * * * * * [Illustration: TAKING IN SAIL] * * * * * DELAYS ARE DANGEROUS.--_Young Housekeeper._ "I'm afraid those soles I bought of you yesterday were not fresh. My husband said they were not nice at all!" _Brighton Fisherman._ "Well, marm, that be your fault--it bean't mine. I've offered 'em yer every day this week, and you might a' 'ad 'em o' Monday if you'd a loiked!" * * * * * AT MARGATE.--_Angelina_ (_very poetical, surveying the rolling ocean_). "Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink." _Edwin_ (_very practical_). No drink! Now, hang it all, Angy, if I've asked you once I've asked you three times within the last five minutes to come and do a split soda and whiskey! And _I_ can do with it! * * * * * [Illustration: THE LAST DAY AT THE SEASIDE--PACKING UP _Maid_ (_to Paterfamilias_). "Please, sir, missus say you're to come in, and sit on the boxes; because we can't get 'em to, and they wants to be corded."] * * * * * [Illustration: _The General._ "And what are you going to be when you grow up, young man?" _Bobbie._ "Well, I can't quite make up my mind. I don't know which would be nicest--a soldier, like you, or a sailor, like Mr. Smithers."] * * * * * [Illustration: "THEM ARTISES!" _Lady Artist._ "Do you belong to that ship over there?" _Sailor._ "Yes, miss." _Lady Artist._ "Then would you mind loosening all those ropes? They are much too tight, and, besides, I can't draw straight lines!"] * * * * * [Illustration: THE DISORDER OF THE BATH] How Belinda Brown appeared with "waves all over her hair" before taking a bath in the sea--and How she looked after having some more "waves all over it."] * * * * * [Illustration: CAUTION TO BATHERS