Mr. Punch Awheel: The Humours of Motoring and Cycling
General
Mr. Punch Awheel: The Humours of Motoring and Cycling
Automobiles -- Anecdotes; Cycling -- Anecdotes; English wit and humor; English wit and humor, Pictorial
Chap in front of me comes in sight. Catching him up fast. He puts on
full speed. Still gaining on him. Pace terrific. Sudden flash just
ahead, followed by loud explosion. Fellow's benzine reservoir blown up
apparently. Pass over smoking ruins of car. Driver nowhere to be seen.
Probably lying in neighbouring field. That puts _him_ out of the race.
Eh? What's that? Aix in sight? Gallop, says Browning. Better not,
perhaps. Road ahead crowded with spectators. Great temptation to charge
through them in style. Mightn't be popular, though. Slow down to fifteen
miles an hour, and enter town amid frantic cheering. Most interesting.
Wonderfully few casualties. Dismount at door of hotel dusty but
triumphant.
* * * * *
Illustration: _First Cyclist_ (_cross-eyed_). "Why the dickens don't
you look where you're going?"
_Second Cyclist_ (_cross-eyed_). "Why don't you go where you're
looking?"
* * * * *
Illustration: QUITE IMPOSSIBLE.--_Motorist._ "What! Exceeding the legal
limit? _Do_ we look as if we would do such a thing?"
* * * * *
Illustration: THE INTERPRETATION OF SIGNS
_Custodian._ "This 'ere's a private road, miss! Didn't yer see the
notice-board at the gate, sayin' 'No thoroughfare'?"
_Placida._ "Oh yes, of course. Why, that's how I knew there was a way
through!"
* * * * *
Illustration: AFTER THE ACCIDENT
"Toujours la politesse."
* * * * *
Illustration: QUITE A LITTLE HOLIDAY
_Cottager._ "What's wrong, Biker? Have you had a spill?"
_Biker._ "Oh, no. I'm having a rest!"
* * * * *
Illustration: WHATS IN A NAME?
_Old Gent_ (_lately bitten with the craze_). "And that confounded man
sold me the thing for a safety!"
* * * * *
_Motoring Illustrated_ suggests the institution of a Motor Museum. If we
were sure that most of the motor omnibuses at present in our streets
would find their way there, we would gladly subscribe.
* * * * *
PROTECTION AGAINST MOTOR-CARS
Sir,--I recently read with interest a letter in the _Times_ from "A
Cyclist since 1868." In it he announced his intention of carrying a
tail-light in order to avoid being run into from behind. The idea is
admirable, and my wife and I, as Pedestrians since 1826 and 1823
respectively, propose to wear two lamps each in future, a white and a
red.
We are, however, a little exercised to know whether we should carry the
white in front and the red behind, or _vice versâ_. For in walking along
the right side of a road we shall appear on the wrong side to an
approaching motor-car. Would it not therefore be better for us to have
the tail-light in front. Your most humble and obedient servant,
LUX PRÆPOSTERA.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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