_Lady_ (_whose mare has just kicked a member of the Hunt, who was following too closely_). "Oh, I'm so sorry! I do hope it didn't hurt you! She's such a gentle thing, and could only have done it in the merest play, you know." * * * * * [Illustration: POSITIVELY OSTENTATIOUS _Mr. Phunkstick_ (_quite put out_). "Talk about agricultural depression, indeed! Don't believe in it! Never saw fences kept in such disgustingly good order in my life!"] * * * * * IRISH HUNTING TIPPLE _Englishman_ (_having partaken of his friend's flask, feels as if he had swallowed melted lead_). "Terribly strong! Pure whiskey, is it not?" _Irishman._ "Faith! not at all! It's greatly diluted with gin!" * * * * * [Illustration: IN A SHOOTING COUNTRY _Railway Porter_ (_who has been helping lady to mount_). "I hope you'll 'ave a good day, ma'am." _Lady Diana._ "I just hope we'll find a fox." _Porter_ (_innocently_). "Oh, that's all right, ma'am. The fox came down by the last train!"] * * * * * [Illustration: INSULT TO INJURY _Fitz-Noodle's Harriers, after a capital run, have killed--a fox!_ _Incensed local M.F.H._ "Confound it, sir, you have killed one of my foxes!" _F. N._ "It's all right, old chap! You may kill one of my hares!"] * * * * * HUNTING SONG (_To be sung when the Hounds meet at Colney Hatch or Hanwell_) Tantivy! Anchovy! Tantara! The moon is up, the moon is up, The larks begin to fly, And like a scarlet buttercup Aurora gilds the sky. Then let us all a-hunting go, Come, sound the gay French horn, And chase the spiders to and fro, Amid the standing corn. Tantivy! Anchovy! Tantara! * * * * * UNCOMMONLY KEEN "Why, where's the horse, Miss Kitty? By Jove, you're wet through! What has happened?" "Oh, the stupid utterly refused to take that brook, so I left him and swam it. I couldn't miss the end of this beautiful thing!" * * * * * [Illustration: IN A BLIND DITCH _Sportsman_ (_to friend, whom he has mounted on a raw four-year-old for "a quiet morning's outing"_). "Bravo, Jack! Well done! That's just what the clumsy beggar wanted. Teach him to look where he's going!"] * * * * * [Illustration: DRY HUMOUR "Be'n't ye comin' over for 'im, mister?"] * * * * * [Illustration: WIREPROOF Sir Harry Hardman, mounted on "Behemoth," created rather a stir at the meet. He said he didn't care a hang for the barbed or any other kind of wire.] * * * * * [Illustration: A SKETCH FROM THE MIDLANDS "Hulloa, old chap! Not hurt, I hope?" "Oh, no, no! Just got off to have a look at the view."] * * * * * [Illustration: _Whip._ "Here, here! Hold hard! Come back!"