_The Clerk._ A very long memo, on the subject, in reply, from the Q.-M.-G., sir. He points out that though, under exceptional circumstances, a pair of spectacles might be held to be a sight-protector, a false tooth could not be held to be either a fork, a spoon, a shaving-brush, a razor, or even an oil bottle. _The Officer._ We wrote back suggesting that it might pass as a "jag"--our little joke. _The Clerk._ _Your_ little joke, sir. The Q.-M.-G.'s people didn't see it. _The Officer._ No? Then the correspondence goes on to the Ordnance Department, with a suggestion that a false tooth might be considered an arm or an accoutrement. _The Clerk._ The Director-General replies, sir, that in the early days of the British Army, when the Army Clothing Department's sole issue was a supply of woad, a tooth, or indeed a nail, might have reasonably been indented for as a weapon, but that, owing to the introduction and perfection of fire-arms, such weapons are now obsolete and cannot be issued. _The Officer._ And now the Medical Service refuse to help us. _The Clerk._ Yes, sir. They cannot bring the fixing of it under the head of surgical operations, and the Surgeon-General points out very justly, if I may be permitted to say so, sir, that a seal-pattern false tooth could hardly be considered a "medical comfort." _The Officer._ What are we to do? The Colonel of the regiment is evidently furious. _The Clerk._ We might send the correspondence to the Inspector of Iron Structures. He may be able to do or suggest something. _The Officer._ Very well; and will you send off this telegram to my wife saying I have a long evening's work before me, and that I shall not be able to get back to dinner to-night? (_Exit the Clerk._) Whenever will they trust a General Commanding a District to spend for the public good on his own responsibility a sum as large as a schoolboy's allowance, and so take some of the unnecessary work off our shoulders? [_He tackles wearily another file of papers._ * * * * * [Illustration: UNDER COVER. "So glad to see you, Mrs. Bamsby! And how is your dear husband? Where _is_ the Colonel? I was only saying the other day, 'I wonder when I shall see Colonel Bamsby!'" _Mrs. Colonel B._ "You'll see him _now_, my dear if I just step aside, or you walk round me."] * * * * * [Illustration: EASTER MANOEUVRES. _Adjutant._ "Your orders are that when you are attacked, Captain Slasher, you are to fall back slowly." _Capt. Slasher._ "In which direction am I to retire, sir?" _Adjutant._ "Well, the proper way, of course, would be over that hill, but--_they intend to have lunch behind that farmhouse in the valley._"] * * * * * [Illustration: "SYNONYMOUS." _Instructor._ "Now, I've explained the different 'sights,' you, Private Dumpy, tell me what a fine 'sight' is. Describe it as well as you can----"