[Illustration: The first time Captain F. tried to play that pony he picked up so cheaply, he found it true to the description given of it by the late owner, who guaranteed it _not in the least afraid of the stick_]. * * * * * [Illustration: A LONG SHOT. (_Before the commencement of the polo match_).--_Young Lady_ (_making her first acquaintance with the game_). "Oh, I wish you would begin. I'm so anxious to see the sweet ponie kick the ball about!" [_Her only excuse is that she hails from a great football county._ ] * * * * * [Illustration: OUR LOCAL POLO MATCH _Excited Drummer._ "Vat! He iss your only ball? Ach, donner und blitzen! he haf proke insides my only drum! You pay ze drum, you haf ze ball!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "If you have any raw ponies, always play them in big matches; it gets them accustomed to the crowd, and the band, and things."] * * * * * [Illustration: AT HURLINGHAM.--_Captain Smith_ (_who is showing his cousins polo for the first time_). "Well, what do you think of it?" _Millicent._ "Oh, we think it is a _ripping_ game. It must be such _awfully_ good practice for croquet!"] * * * * * [Illustration: THE POSSIBILITIES OF CROQUET The above represents the game of "All against All," as played by Brown, Miss Jones, and the Major.] * * * * * EJACULATIONS _On being asked to play Croquet, A.D. 1894._ ["It is impossible to visit any part of the country without realising the fact that the long-discredited game of Croquet is fast coming into vogue again.... This is partly owing to the abolition of 'tight croqueting.'"--_Pall Mall Gazette._] Eh? What? Why? How? Are we back in the Sixties again? I am rubbing my eyes--is it _then_, or now? I'm a _Rip Van Winkle_, it's plain! Hoop, Ball, Stick, Cage? Eh, fetch them all out once more? Why, look, they're begrimed and cracked with age, And their playing days are o'er! Well--yes--here goes For a primitive chaste delight! Let us soberly, solemnly beat our foes, For Croquet's no longer "tight"! [Illustration] * * * * * [Illustration: CHARLES KEENESQUE CROQUET PERIOD. 1866] * * * * * [Illustration: AN OBJECTIONABLE OLD MAN.--_Young Ladies._ "Going to make a flower-bed here, Smithers? Why, it'll quite spoil our croquet ground!" _Gardener._ "Well, that's yer Pa's orders, Miss! He'll hev' it laid out for 'orticultur', not for 'usbandry'".] * * * * *