I remember as I bought bull's-eyes fer Hervangeline wif that 'ere tuppence, becos in a meshure, as you may say, she'd 'ad an 'and in the winning of it. 'Owever, wif a jenerosity unyusual in wimmen, she hinsisted on sharing 'em wif 'Enery Wilks, 'oos skilful leedership 'ad reely won the match. * * * * * [Illustration: _Short-sighted Old Lady_ (_to little Binks, who is going to the golf-links_). "How much will you charge me to mend this umbrella?"] * * * * * [Illustration: TRIALS OF A NOVICE.--"_Something_ must be wrong. That's the third time running I've used this club!"] * * * * * [Illustration: ! ! ! ! _Lily_ (_from Devonshire, on a visit to her Scotch Cousin Margy in St. Andrews, N.B._). "What a strange thing fashion is, Margy! Fancy a game like golf reaching up as far north as this!"] * * * * * THE HANDY CADDY _Why Jones sold his Big St. Bernard and substituted a Tame Caribou, which a friend brought him home from Canada._ [Illustration: IT WAS SO HANDY WHEN GOING OUT GOLFING. IT MADE SUCH A CAPITAL CADDY. AND JONES COULD INDULGE IN EXPLETIVES WITHOUT BEING A BAD EXAMPLE IF THE WEATHER SUDDENLY TURNED OFF COLD HE HAD ONLY TO HELP HIMSELF TO A TOP COAT; & IF IT RAINED TO AN UMBRELLA AND SOU'WESTER. ALSO IT GAVE QUITE A PARK-LIKE APPEARANCE TO JONES' BACK GARDEN.] * * * * * III. Taking it all in all, 'Enery Wilks 'as very little use for wimmen. Excep, of course, as playthings and rellaxashuns after toil. As sich I regards Hervangerline, of 'oom I've told yer. That is, when 'er mood is dosile. At sich times, when she is not trying to be yumourous or utherwise acting the goat, the child can listen, wif doo respekt, whilst 'im she loves so well unbends 'isself. It is 'er privviledge to see 'Enery Wilks remove 'is stern cold marsk. Yuss, I tollerates Hervangerline, but I 'ave little use fer uther wimmen. Speaking quite frenkly, I can find little to kommend in the hexeckertive of these 'ere links, but there is one of their resent hinnervashuns in pertickler that fills me wif cold rage. This is the rule permitting lidy members to play on the course, excep' on Satterday and Sunday. Lord knows as 'ow the men is bad enuff to deal wif. 'Eadstrong, vain, irriterble and pig-'eaded they mostly is, but oh! strike me pink and purple, if they ain't fair angels, wings and all, kompared to those dredfull, onreasoningable wimmen! Onreasoningable is the one word as I can use to deskribe them. And that don't do 'em justise. Wif a man, to some eggstent, you do know where you are. You do know from eggsperiense 'ow fur you may go wif 'im, before 'e katches you a clump on the side of the 'ead. But wif wimmen no eggsperiense will 'elp yer. Becos there ain't no rules abart them.