Two 'oles later it all 'appens agin, only this time it's Missis 'Askins 'oo 'as kondescended to redooce 'er score. They rages rarnd upon the green, and then Miss Kornish erpeals to me, and truth kompels me to erward the 'ole to 'er. This time it's Missis 'Askins 'oo glarnces at me as though she'd like to cut orf my yung life. But 'Enery Wilks can stand a lot of that. So we goes on agin, wif the air growing 'eavier like, and three 'oles later they both erpeals to me, fer both is cheating. It was an 'ard posishun fer a yung feller as is only wishfull to pleese. 'Owever, I desided to give pore old Truth another chawnce; although misdoubtfull. So I ses to them quite respeckfull like, as 'ow both their scores is inakkerite and should I keep them both in fuchure? Oh Lumme, I'd like to forgit what 'appened then! All in a moment those two young wimmen grew frendly agin to each other and konsentrited all their rage and spite on 'Enery Wilks. They fell upon me wif their tungs, and I felt as though I was being 'it wif barbed wire and nettels. They called me "impudent little boy," me the chosin 'ero of the yunger caddies, and I could only garsp and trimble. Their crewel thretts brought tears even to my proud eyes, and I almost beleeve as 'ow I grovvellel before them. It 'urts me to remember it. When at last they 'ad tired themselves out, they finished their rarnd as though they 'ad never 'ad an unkind thort towards each other, and I slunk be'ind them, dased and silent, like a puppy 'oos been kicked. And that's--that's what comes of edmitting wimmen to a golf corse! * * * * * [Illustration: "THE BOGEY COMPETITION"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Little Albert_ (_always thirsting for knowledge_). "Uncle, do they pronounce that rico_chay_ing or rico_chet_ting?"] * * * * * [Illustration: 1. "Carry your clubs, guvnor, for sixpence!" "No, thanks, I don't require a caddie." 2. "Carry yer clubs for fourpence, boss!" "Go away, boy, I'll carry 'em myself." 3. "Carry 'em for thrippence, mister" (no response). 4. A smash! 5. (_After the smash_). "I say, captain, I'll carry _your_ clubs for nothin', _jist for the fun of the thing_!"] * * * * * [Illustration: MR. PUNCH'S PATENT CADDIE CAR] * * * * * [Illustration: Golf is now being played on the Norman Coast] * * * * * [Illustration: Golf is being played very much in Egypt] * * * * * [Illustration: A NEW DISEASE--THE GOLF TWIST] * * * * * [Illustration: The above caddie (in the course of his third round with Colonel Foozle, who always takes out a collection of two dozen clubs, if only for the look of the thing) begins to doubt if he, the caddie, really belongs to the idle classes, as stated in the papers.]