Mr. Punch's History of Modern England, Vol. 2 (of 4).—1857-1874Graves, Charles L. (Charles Larcom)
History
Mr. Punch's History of Modern England, Vol. 2 (of 4).—1857-1874
Graves, Charles L. (Charles Larcom)
Great Britain -- History -- Victoria, 1837-1901 -- Humor
But by far the best illustration of the way in which the course of the
war caused _Mr. Punch_ to think furiously, fantastically, but by no
means foolishly, is to be found in the fantasy headed, "A Flying Island
wanted":--
Will somebody please invent for us an Island of Laputa?
It would save a mint of money in plated ships, and Armstrong guns,
and Shoeburyness experiments. Although we are at peace, a most
expensive war is raging between gunmakers and shipbuilders, and so
far as one can learn, there seem but little hopes of stopping it.
First the guns will gain the day, and then the ships will be built
stronger until they are ball-proof, then bigger guns will come, and
then still stronger ships; and so the battle will go on, and
victories alternately be won by either side, and the Queen's powder
be burnt at a most tremendous rate, so long as Mr. Bull agrees to
stand the shot.
If the Invention War goes on much longer than it has done, we quite
expect to hear of the construction of a cannon that shall throw a
ball as big as the Ball upon St. Paul's, and of a mortar that shall
pitch a shell as large round as the dome. Indeed, we fancy that in
course of time conical shot will equal the Big Pyramid of Egypt,
and that guns will be invented of sufficient power to throw such
shot across from Brighton to Boulogne.
Now, if somebody would just invent a Flying Island, and present us
with the patent, this costly fight between artillerists and
shield-makers would probably soon cease. There would be no need
then of our Army and our Navy, our big guns and our block ships,
our field pieces and forts. Whenever any nation dared to pick a
quarrel with us, all that we should have to do would be to let our
Flying Island drop upon their heads, and squash their fleets and
forces flat at one fell swoop.
The development of long-range artillery has fulfilled _Punch's_ fancy.
And we have become a flying island; but, unfortunately, the power of
swooping from the skies is shared by other countries. As for ascents
into the upper air, it was in the same year (1862) that the long
unbroken record in altitude was made by Coxwell and Glaisher in the
old-fashioned balloon. There is a reference to the Aeronautical
Exhibition held at the Crystal Palace in 1868; but the disaster which
befell the Belgian, de Groof, in July, 1874, while attempting to descend
from a balloon in a newly invented parachute, elicited a decidedly
obscurantist comment:--
DE GROOF
(Killed in attempting to Fly, July 9, 1874)
He who provides for all beneath the sky,
Made men to walk, as He made birds to fly;
Then let man stick to earth, and have the sense
Not to fly in the face of Providence!
[Sidenote: _The Coming of the Typewriter_]
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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