The guests were by no means confined to The ranks of the old Upper Ten, For Arthur has always inclined to Consort with all manner of men; So the brainy, though lacking in breeding, Were bidden as well as the fops; The foes of carnivorous feeding, And lovers of chops. There were golfers from Troon and Kilspindie Discussing their favourite greens; Bronzed soldiers from Quetta and Pindi; Pale pilots of flying-machines; There were débutantes visibly flustered, Calm beauties from over the "Pond"; Sleek magnates of soap and of mustard, And Brunner and Mond. * * * * * I saw a delectable Duchess Sit out with a Syndicalist, And a battle-scarred soldier on crutches Hob-nob with a Pacificist; And a famous professor of Psychics-- A Scot who was reared at Dunkeld-- Indulge in the highest of high kicks I ever beheld. Lord Haldane, whose massive proportions Were gracefully garbed in a kilt, Performed the most daring contortions With true Caledonian lilt; Lord Morley resembled a Gracchus; Lloyd George was a genial Jack Cade, And Elibank, beaming like Bacchus, The revels surveyed. The music was subtly compounded Of melodies famous of yore, And measures that richly abounded In modern cacophonous lore; There was Strauss, the adored of Vienna, The genius of joyous unrest, And Strauss, who the shrieks of Gehenna Contrives to suggest. I'd like to describe, but I canna, The envy combined with dismay Aroused by adorable Anna Whom several Kingdoms obey. Her entry produced quite a crisis-- Some prudes were surprised she was axed-- She appeared in the costume of Isis According to Bakst. It was four of the clock ere I quitted These scenes of eclectic delight; The fogies had most of them flitted, The revels were still at their height; For Garvin was dancing a Tango, His head in the place of his legs; And Spender a blameless fandango Encircled by eggs. What incidents happened thereafter I only can dimly surmise: But gusts of ecstatical laughter Went echoing up to the skies; And I know from my own observation The guests were agreed, one and all, That Arthur united the nation By giving this Ball. [Illustration: THE POETRY OF MOTION, 1909 The "Borston"] [Illustration: HE: "Very interesting, these Morris-dances. Have you ever seen any before?" SHE: "No. I don't even know who Morris was."] [Sidenote: _Tango-mania_]