That the French language (which at the present moment chiefly consists of the verb _conspuer_) shall be tabooed, except in the case of solecisms like _nom de plume_, _double entendre_, _à l'outrance_, and so forth. _Café_, _coupé_ and similar words shall be pronounced "caif," "coop," etc., as in Canada. _Dépôt_ shall be "depott"; _sang froid_, _au revoir_, _tableaux vivants_ and the like shall be similarly anglicized. Boulogne to be called "Boolong," if mentioned at all, which is inadvisable. No more bull-fights to be attended. That French grey shall in future mean, as circumstances demand, either black or white. Towards America _Punch_ shows a tempered benevolence in his open letter to President McKinley, whom he warns against the new-fangled policy of Imperial expansion. His welcome to Mr. Choate, on his appointment as American Ambassador, is entirely cordial: "There are only two things necessary to make your visit a success. Don't believe all you hear, and read your _Punch_ regularly." I do not know whether Mr. Choate took the second piece of advice or not; the first was quite unnecessary. He was a huge success as an Ambassador, though his chief claim on the abiding affection of England rests on his noble and self-sacrificing exertions, in extreme old age and up to the day of his death, in furthering the cause of the Allies and strengthening the brotherhood in arms of America and Great Britain. [Sidenote: _Lord Milner Censured_] Meanwhile events in South Africa were rapidly approaching a critical stage. At Mr. Chamberlain's request, a conference between Sir Alfred Milner and President Krüger was held at Bloemfontein early in June to adjust the conflicting claims of the Transvaal Boers and the Uitlanders, whose position Sir Alfred Milner had compared to that of "helots." _Punch_ summed up the conference in two cartoons. In the first, headed "Moral Suasion," Milner is seen endeavouring to pacify Krüger as a cow: "I will sit on the stile and continue to smile." In the second, "The Smile that Failed," the High Commissioner remarks:-- I _have_ sat on this Stile And continued to Smile, But it's had no effect on the Cow. [Illustration: THE SMILE THAT FAILED SIR ALFR-D M-LN-R again sings:-- "There was a 'High Com.' who said, 'Now I've conferred with this wily old cow! I _have_ sat on this stile, And continued to smile, But it's had no effect on the Cow!'" (_Exit._) ] [Illustration: "Yer know, them Boers 'as been storin' guns and hambition for years!"]