Arise my soul--if soul I've got-- And, vaguely vocal, thank For all the blessings of my lot The--Unknown Eternal Blank! I thank the--Streak of Azure Haze That on my birth has smiled, And made me, in post-Christian days, A happy School-Board child. I was not born, as myriads were, In ages dark and dim, And taught to pray a pious prayer, Or sing a holy hymn. I was not born a little slave To formula and creed, Or taught that Heaven must light the Grave, Or God-love banish greed. I was not born when priests might roam And teach the childish band To sing about Our Heavenly Home, Or of that Happy Land! Mere dogma muddles up the mind, And leaves it in a mess. Religion surely was designed To make our freedom less. The Conscience-Clause? It may secure _Some_ freedom to the slave. But Where's the sense--unless we're sure That we a conscience _have_? We've lots of "Standards" which we treasure, There's one superfluous, quite, A Standard human wit can't measure (In Board Schools)--that of Right! Secular matters make our joys, And facts are our sole food. Do we turn out _good_ girls and boys? Good heavens! What _is_ "Good"? Through all the periods of my life One goodness I'll pursue; With rare "good things" this world is rife; I'll try to get a few. At the close of the same year, however, _Punch_ castigates sectarian bigots with equal vigour. He took for his text a letter by Dr. James Martineau to _The Times_, in which that "wise and gentle teacher" had appealed to the conflicting parties of School Board electors and members to reconcile themselves to a peaceful co-existence on the basis of our common Christianity. _Punch_ does not spare "secular spleen" and "shortsighted super-thrift," but his severest criticisms are reserved for the sectarian zealots, Anglican and Nonconformist, who had broken up the compromise of 1871, and he concludes:-- Oh, self-elected shepherds, with your crooks, Fighting, while round your folds the wolves are creeping!-- Pedagogues wrangling o'er your lesson-books, Whilst your wrath rages human love sits weeping! If of "a common Christianity" Ye were but practical and patient teachers, In Education's task ye might _agree_. Now sense is asking, "Who shall teach our teachers?" [Sidenote: _The Abortive Bill of 1896_] [Illustration: INEXPERIENCED AND ANXIOUS YOUNG MISTRESS: "The new housemaid, Maria, is a Roman Catholic; but I hope you will not allow any religious controversy in the servants' hall." COOK (with much dignity): "You needn't have any fear, my lady. In really 'igh-class families religion is _never_ mentioned!"]