_The singer (who should be a large man, in evening dress, with a crumpled shirt-front) will come on the stage with a bearing intended to convey at first sight that he is a devoted admirer of the fair sex. After removing his crush-hat in an easy manner, and winking airily at the orchestra, he will begin_:-- WHY SHOULDN’T THE DARLINGS? There’s enthusiasm brimming in the breasts of all the women, And they’re calling for enfranchisement with clamour eloquent: When some parties in a huff rage at the plea for Female Suffrage, I invariably floor them with a simple argu-ment. _Chorus_ (_to be rendered with a winning persuasiveness_). Why _shouldn’t_ the darlings have votes? de-ar things! On politics each of ’em dotes, de-ar things! (_Pathetically._) Oh it _does_ seem so hard They should all be debarred, ’Cause they happen to wear petticoats, de-ar things! Nature all the hens to crow meant, I could prove it in a moment, Though they’ve selfishly been silenced by the cockadoodle-doos. But no man of sense afraid is of enfranchising the Ladies. (_Magnanimously._) Let ’em put their pretty fingers into any pie they choose! _Spoken_--For---- _Chorus_--Why _shouldn’t_ the darlings, &c. They would cease to care for dresses, if we made them elec-tresses, No more time they’d spend on needlework, nor at pianos strum; Every dainty little Dorcas would be sitting on a Caucus, Busy wire-pulling to produce the New Millenni-um! _Spoken_--Oh!---- _Chorus_--Why _shouldn’t_ the darlings, &c. In the House we’ll see them sitting soon, it will be only fitting They should have an opportunity their country’s laws to frame. And the Ladies’ legislation will be sure to cause sensation, For they’ll do away with everything that seems to them a shame! _Spoken_--Then---- _Chorus_--Why _shouldn’t_ the darlings, &c. They will promptly clap a stopper on whate’er they deem improper, Put an end to vaccination, landed property, and pubs; And they’ll fine Tom, Dick, and Harry, if they don’t look sharp and marry, And for Kindergartens confiscate those nasty horrid Clubs! _Spoken_--Ah!---- _Chorus_--Why _shouldn’t_ the darlings, &c. They’ll declare it’s quite immoral to engage in foreign quarrel, And that Britons never never will be warriors any more! When our forces are abolished, and defences all demolished, They will turn upon the Jingo tack, and want to go to war! _Spoken_--So---- _Chorus_--Why _shouldn’t_ the darlings, &c.