_The Chairman._ One moment, Mr. Wheedler, (_conferring with his colleagues_). “Marked with red letter”--isn’t that a little--eh? liable to----You don’t think they’ll have read Hawthorne’s book? Very well, then. Go on, Mr. Wheedler, please. _Mr. W._ “’Twas warm, with a heaven so blue.” _First Censor._ Can’t pass those two epithets--you must tone them down, Mr. Wheedler--_much_ too suggestive! _Mr. W._ That shall be done. _The Chairman._ And it ought to be “sky.” _Mr. W._ “When amid the lush meadows I met her, My Molly, so modest and true!” _Second Censor._ I object to the word “lush”--a direct incitement to intemperance! _Mr. W._ I’ll strike it out. (_Reads._) “Around us the little kids rollicked, Lighthearted were all the young lambs----” _Second Censor._ Surely “kids” is _rather_ a vulgar expression, Mr. Wheedler? Make it “_children_,” and I’ve no objection. _Mr. W._ I have made it so. (_Reads._) “They kicked up their legs as they frolicked”---- _Third Censor._ If that is intended to be done on the stage, I protest most strongly--a highly indecorous exhibition! [_Murmurs of approval._ _Mr. W._ But they’re only lambs! _Third Censor._ Lambs, indeed! We are determined to put down _all_ kicking in Music-hall songs, no matter _who_ does it! Strike that line out. _Mr. W._ (_reading_). “And frisked by the side of their dams.” _First Censor_ (_severely_). No profanity, Mr. Wheedler, _if_ you please! _Mr. W._ Er--I’ll read you the Refrain. (_Reads, limply._) “Molly and I. With nobody nigh. Hearts all a-throb with a rapturous bliss, Molly was shy. And (at first) so was I, Till I summoned up courage to ask for a kiss!” _The Chairman._ “Nobody nigh,” Mr. Wheedler? I don’t quite like that. The Music Hall ought to set a good example to young persons. “Molly and I--_with her chaperon by_,” is better. _Second Censor._ And that last line--“asking for a kiss”--does the song state that they were formally engaged, Mr. Wheedler? _Mr. W._ I--I believe it omits to mention the fact. But (_ingeniously_) it does not appear that the request was complied with. _Second Censor._ No matter--it should never have been made. Have the goodness to alter that into--well, something of this kind. “And I always addressed her politely as “Miss.” Then we _may_ pass it. _Mr. W._ (_reading the next verse_). “She wore but a simple sun-bonnet.” _First Censor_ (_shocked_). Now really, Mr. Wheedler, _really_, Sir! _Mr. W._ “For Molly goes plainly attired.” _First Censor_ (_indignantly_). I should think so--_Scandalous_! _Mr. W._ “Malediction I muttered upon it, One glimpse of her face I desired.” [Illustration: Licensing Day.] _The Chairman._ I think my colleague’s exception is perhaps just a _leetle_ far-fetched. At all events, if we substitute for the last couplet,