Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known DramasAnstey, F.
General
Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas
Anstey, F.
Ibsen, Henrik, 1828-1906 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.
HEDDA.
I wish I could get Tesman to take to politics, Judge. Couldn't he be a
Cabinet Minister, or something?
BRACK.
H'm!
[_A short pause; both look at one another, without speaking. Enter_
GEORGE, _in evening dress with gloves._
GEORGE.
It is afternoon, and your party is at half-past seven--but I like to
dress early. Fancy that! And I am expecting Lövborg.
EJLERT LÖVBORG _comes in from the hall; he is worn and pale, with red
patches on his cheek-bones, and wears an elegant perfectly new
visiting-suit and black gloves._
GEORGE.
Welcome! [_Introduces him to_ BRACK.] Listen--I have got your new book,
but I haven't read it through yet.
LÖVBORG.
You needn't--it's rubbish. [_Takes a packet of MSS. out._] This _isn't_.
It's in three parts; the first about the civilising forces of the
future, the second about the future of the civilising forces, and the
third about the forces of the future civilisation. I thought I'd read
you a little of it this evening?
BRACK _and_ GEORGE.
[_Hastily._] Awfully nice of you--but there's a little party this
evening--so sorry we can't stop! Won't you come too?
HEDDA.
No, he must stop and read it to me and Mrs. Elvsted instead.
GEORGE.
It would never have occurred to me to think of such clever things! Are
you going to oppose me for the professorship, eh?
LÖVBORG.
[_Modestly._] No; I shall only triumph over you in the popular
judgment--that's all!
GEORGE.
Oh, is that all? Fancy! Let us go into the back drawing-room and drink
cold punch.
LÖVBORG.
Thanks--but I am a reformed character, and have renounced cold punch--it
is poison.
[GEORGE _and_ BRACK _go into the back-room and drink punch, whilst_
HEDDA _shows_ LÖVBORG _a photograph album in the front._
LÖVBORG.
[_Slowly, in a low tone._] Hedda Gabler! how _could_ you throw yourself
away like this!--Oh, is _that_ the Ortler Group? Beautiful!----Have you
forgotten how we used to sit on the settee together behind an
illustrated paper, and--yes, very picturesque peaks--I told you all
about how I had been on the loose?
HEDDA.
Now, none of that here! These are the Dolomites.--Yes, I remember; it
was a beautiful fascinating Norwegian intimacy--but it's over now. See,
we spent a night in that little mountain village, Tesman and I.
LÖVBORG.
Did you, indeed? Do you remember that delicious moment when you
threatened to shoot me down? [_Tenderly._] I do!
HEDDA.
[_Carelessly._] Did I! I have done that to so many people. But now all
that is past, and you have found the loveliest consolation in dear,
good, little Mrs. Elvsted--ah, here she is! [_Enter_ MRS. ELVSTED.] Now,
Thea, sit down and drink up a good glass of cold punch. Mr. Lövborg is
going to have some. If you don't, Mr. Lövborg, George and the Judge will
think you are afraid of taking too much if you once begin.
MRS. ELVSTED.
Oh, please, Hedda! When I've inspired Mr. Lövborg so--good gracious!
_don't_ make him drink cold punch!
HEDDA.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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