Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known DramasAnstey, F.
General
Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas
Anstey, F.
Ibsen, Henrik, 1828-1906 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.
Oh, Hedda, what an odd way to look at it! But never mind poor dear Mr.
Lövborg now. What _we've_ got to do is to see if we can't put his
wonderful manuscript, that he said he had torn to pieces, together
again. [_Takes a bundle of small pages out of the pocket of her
mantle._] There are the loose scraps he dictated it to me from. I hid
them on the chance of some such emergency. And if dear Mr. Tesman and I
were to put our heads together, I _do_ think something might come of it.
GEORGE.
Fancy! I will dedicate my life--or all I can spare of it--to the task. I
seem to feel I owe him some slight amends, perhaps. No use crying over
spilt milk, eh, Mrs. Elvsted? We'll sit down--just you and I--in the
back drawing-room, and see if you can't inspire me as you did him, eh?
MRS. ELVSTED.
Oh, goodness, yes! I should like it--if it only might be possible!
[GEORGE _and_ MRS. ELVSTED _go into the back drawing-room and become
absorbed in eager conversation_; HEDDA _sits in a chair in the
front room, and a little later_ BRACK _crosses over to her_
HEDDA.
[_In a low tone._] Oh, Judge, _what_ a relief to know that
everything--including Lövborg's pistol--went off so well! In the breast!
Isn't there a veil of unintentional beauty in that? Such an act of
voluntary courage, too!
BRACK.
[_Smiles._] H'm!--perhaps, dear Mrs. Hedda----
HEDDA.
[_Enthusiastically._] But _wasn't_ it sweet of him! To have the courage
to live his own life after his own fashion--to break away from the
banquet of life--_so_ early and _so_ drunk! A beautiful act like that
_does_ appeal to a superior woman's imagination!
BRACK.
Sorry to shatter your poetical illusions, little Mrs. Hedda, but, as a
matter of fact, our lamented friend met his end under other
circumstances. The shot did _not_ strike him in the _breast_--but----
[_Pauses._
HEDDA.
[_Excitedly._] General Gabler's pistols! I might have known it! Did they
_ever_ shoot straight? Where _was_ he hit, then?
BRACK.
[_In a discreet undertone._] A little lower down!
HEDDA.
Oh, _how_ disgusting!--how vulgar!--how ridiculous!--like everything
else about me!
BRACK.
Yes, we're realistic types of human nature, and all that--but a trifle
squalid, perhaps. And why did you give Lövborg your pistol, when it was
certain to be traced by the police? For a charming cold-blooded woman
with a clear head and no scruples, wasn't it just a leetle foolish!
HEDDA.
Perhaps; but I wanted him to do it beautifully, and he didn't! Oh, I've
just admitted that I _did_ give him the pistol--how annoyingly unwise of
me! Now I'm in _your_ power, I suppose?
BRACK.
Precisely--for some reason it's not easy to understand. But it's
inevitable, and you know how you dread anything approaching scandal. All
your past proceedings show that. [_To_ GEORGE _and_ MRS. ELVSTED _who
come in together from the back-room._] Well, how are you getting on with
the reconstruction of poor Lövborg's great work, eh?
GEORGE.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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