Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known DramasAnstey, F.
General
Mr Punch's Pocket Ibsen - A Collection of Some of the Master's Best Known Dramas
Anstey, F.
Ibsen, Henrik, 1828-1906 -- Parodies, imitations, etc.
What the deuce! Miss Wangel, you _mustn't_. I'm a married man! There's
my wife!
[MRS. HERDAL _enters_.
HILDA.
As if _that_ mattered--it's only dear, sweet Mrs. Solness. _She_ doesn't
mind--_do_ you, dear Mrs. Solness?
MRS. HERDAL.
It does not seem to be of much _use_ minding, Miss Wangel. I presume you
have come to stay?
HILDA.
[_In amused surprise._] Why, of course--what else should I come for? I
_always_ come to stay, until--h'm!
[_Nods slowly, and sits down at table._
DR. HERDAL.
[_Involuntarily._] She's drinking my punch! If she thinks I'm going to
stand this sort of thing, she's mistaken. I'll soon show her a
pill-doctor is a very different kind of person from a mere Master
Builder!
[HILDA _finishes the punch with an indefinable expression in her
eyes, and_ Dr. HERDAL _looks on gloomily as the Curtain falls_.
* * * * *
ACT SECOND
Dr. HERDAL'S _drawing-room and dispensary, as before. It is early in
the day._ Dr. HERDAL _sits by the little table, taking his own
temperature with a clinical thermometer. By the door stands the_
NEW BOOK-KEEPER; _he wears blue spectacles and a discoloured white
tie, and seems slightly nervous_.
DR. HERDAL.
Well, now you understand what is necessary. My late book-keeper, Miss
Blakdraf, used to keep my accounts very cleverly--she charged every
visit twice over.
THE NEW BOOK-KEEPER.
I am familiar with book-keeping by double entry. I was once employed at
a bank.
DR. HERDAL.
I am discharging my assistant, too; he was always trying to push me out
with his pills. Perhaps you will be able to dispense?
THE NEW BOOK-KEEPER.
[_Modestly._] With an additional salary, I should be able to do that
too.
DR. HERDAL.
Capital! You _shall_ dispense with an additional salary. Go into the
dispensary, and see what you can make of it. You may mistake a few drugs
at first--but everything must have a beginning.
[_As the_ NEW BOOK-KEEPER _retires_, MRS. HERDAL _enters in a hat and
cloak with a watering-pot, noiselessly_.
MRS. HERDAL.
Miss Wangel got up early, before breakfast, and went for a walk. She is
so wonderfully vivacious!
DR. HERDAL.
So I should say. But tell me, Aline, is she _really_ going to stay with
us here?
[_Nervously._
MRS. HERDAL.
[_Looks at him._] So she tells me. And, as she has brought nothing with
her except a tooth-brush and a powder-puff, I am going into the town to
get her a few articles. We _must_ make her feel at home.
DR. HERDAL.
[_Breaking out._] I _will_ make her not only _feel_ but _be_ at home,
wherever that is, this very day! I will _not_ have a perambulating
Allegory without a portmanteau here on an indefinite visit. I say, she
shall go--do you hear, Aline? Miss Wangel will go!
[_Raps with his fist on table._
MRS. HERDAL.
[_Quietly._] If you say so, Haustus, no doubt she will _have_ to go. But
you must tell her so yourself.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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