I sat me down beside that cairn, And looked, a feckless loon, On you, the great MacMuckle’s bairn, Wi’ ne’er a pair o’ shoon! Wi’ winsome feet sae white as milk You paddlit i’ the faem, Your snoodless locks, sae soft as silk, Whished roun’ your gouden kaem! I looked and looked, and marvelled sair If human you might be; You laughed to see the wonder-stare That came frae oot my ee. And then you broke the eerie spell, And oh! your voice was douce! Like water trickling frae a shell, What time the ebb runs loose! An’ noo I maun my heart declare! (Would you could hear its beat.) I’ve lands, and siller, too, to spare, An’ sic a hamestead sweet! I ken you are MacMuckle’s chiel, His only dearest ane, But tell him that I lo’e you weel, And canna bide alane! [Illustration: NOT TO BE MADE A FOOL OF _Farmer._ “Noo, if it’s a fair question, hoo much wull ye get for thae kye when ye’ve feenished them?” _Artist._ “Oh, perhaps sixty guineas, or so.” _Farmer._ “Wha-a-t! Dinna tell me, man; A’l no get that for them leevin’.”] * * * * * AT BONNIE BLINKIE CASTLE.--_Mr. Lysander B. Chunks, of Chicago_ (_who has rented the property of the Duke of B. B._). I see this mansion described in the guide-books as “palatial.” Why, it isn’t in it with the Mastodon Hotel, Milwaukee! _English Guest_. Then why didn’t you hire the hotel? * * * * * MACBETH TO BAD MOCK TURTLE.--“Unreal mockery, hence!” * * * * * [Illustration: INCORRIGIBLE! _Mrs. M‘Finnan (very genteel, and speaks pure Edinburgh English)._ “My dear, you’ve got pigeon-pie there, I think.” _Mr. M‘Finnan (an Aberdonian, and not particular)._ “A----ye. Fa-a’s for doo tair-rt? I’m for neen mysel’!”] [Illustration: A FRIENDLY WARNING _First Tramp._ “I wadna advise ye tae gang up there!” _Second Tramp._ “What wye? Is there a muckle doug?” _First Tramp._ “No; but there’s a danger o’ wark!”] [Illustration: “AGAINST THE GRAIN” _Widow Woman (to Chemist, who was weighing a grain of calomel in dispensing a prescription for her sick child)._ “Man, ye needna’ be sae scrimpy wi’t--’tis for a puir fatherless bairn!”] SOBER SCOTS [“A ‘Sober Scot Society’ has been formed in Edinburgh. Its members bind themselves not to drink liquor before noon.”--_Daily Paper._] Willie brewed a peck o’ maut, Ha, ha, the brewin’ o’t! Tammas cam’ a-findin’ faut, Ha, ha, the brewin’ o’t! “What’s this poison ye wad pree? Put awa’ the barley-bree! Be a Sober Scot like me!” Ha, ha, the brewin’ o’t! Willie gied a fearsome froun, Ha, ha, the brewin’ o’t! Looked as he wad knock him doun Ha, ha, the brewin’ o’t! “Shober? Dinna gie me sic Inshults! Gin I’m speakin’ thick Lemme gang tae Jerich--hic!” Ha, ha, the brewin’ o’t!