_Intending Emigrant (justly indignant)._ “_No!_--I’m a Macpherson!”] * * * * * [Illustration] OLD SCOTS SLANG.--In an old Scots Act of Parliament “anent the punishment of drunkards” a clause adjudges all persons “convict” of drunkenness, or tavern-haunting, “for the first fault” to a fine of £3, “or in case of inability or refusal, to be put in jogges or jayle for the space of six hours.” What was “jogges,” as distinguished from “jayle”? Possibly a somewhat milder place of detention for the rather, than that appointed for the very, drunken. If so, “jogges,” in the lapse of time, we may suppose, having lost its distinctive sense, came to be regarded as simply a synonym of “jayle,” and, as such, now passes current in the People’s English (not to say the Queen’s) abbreviated into the contraction “jug.” Thus imprisonment for a state of too much beer might be described as jug for jug. * * * * * [Illustration: ILLUSIONS! _McStaggert (on his way home, having jumped over the shadows of the lamp-posts, &c., brought up by that of the kirk steeple)._ “E----h!” (_Pauses._) “Ne’ mind! ’Sh no help for it.” (_Pulls up his pants._) “Shall have to wade thish!”] LINES BY A SCOTSMAN (_On reading that an Act of the Australian Legislature against the Growth of Thistles received the Royal Assent_) What’s this? Forbid the growth o’ thristles, Auld Scotia’s cherished symbol-flower-- The hair upon ma head it bristles, At sic an awfu’ waste o’ power! ’Tis idle wark, as time will show, To root the bonny plant frae ground; For Nature still gars thristles grow Where canny Scots are to be found. What soil so puir but it can keep A thristle green amang its stanes? What land so bare a Scotsman deep Canna pick something aff its banes? As weel keep bees frae honey-pots, Keep cats frae cream, or bairns frae tarts, As thristles and their brither Scots Frae lands whaur goud is found i’ quartz. [Illustration: WELL TURNED _Minister (reproachfully, to bibulous village barber with shaking hand)._ “Ah, John, John! That whisky----”! _Barber (condolently)._ “Aye, sir, it mak’s the skin unco tender!”] [Illustration: “AU PIED DE LA LETTRE” _Free-Kirk Minister (to his “Elder”)._ “John, I should like you to intimate that on Monday next I propose paying pastoral visits in the High and North Streets, in which I also hope to embrace all the servant girls of the congregation in that district!” _His Wife (whom he’d lately married from the South)._ “You shall do nothing of the kind, sir! Let me see you dare to----!” [_Goes into hysterics!_] * * * * * GEOGRAPHICAL.--_Examiner (to Scots boy in Free School)._ Where is the village of Drum? _Scots Boy (readily)._ In the county of Fife. [_Prize given._ * * * * *