_Jones_ (_who is not a champion swimmer_). "M-mine too!"] * * * * * AN ACUTE ANGLER.--The judicious Hooker. * * * * * ANGLER'S MOTTO.--_Carpe diem._ A carp a day. * * * * * THE ANGLE OF INCIDENCE.--When you're fishing, and tumble into the water. * * * * * WALTON'S LIFE OF HOOKER.--Is this another name for Izaak Walton's _Complete Angler_? * * * * * [Illustration: HINTS TO BEGINNERS--SEA FISHING In fishing for conger eels, it is sometimes convenient to have a spare boat.] * * * * * [Illustration: RETURNED EMPTY.--_Old Mayfly_ (_who had dropped his flask further down stream, and has just had it returned to him by honest rustic_). "Dear me! Thank you! Thank you!" (_Gives him a shilling._) "Don't know what I should ha' done without it!" (_Begins to unscrew top._) "May I offer you a----" _Honest Rustic._ "Well, thank y', sir, but me and my mate, not seein' a howner about, we've ta'en what there were inside."] * * * * * [Illustration: HINTS TO BEGINNERS.--When casting with a fly rod, be sure to get your line well out behind you.] * * * * * THE COMPLEAT DUFFER [Illustration: Hooking a lobster] I have fished in every way, Fished on every kind of day, But my basket still remains _in statu quo_, Not a stickleback will rise, Not a gudgeon as a prize To the quite amazing flies That I throw. When I try the purling brook Many trout just have a look At my fly, or at the minnow that I spin, With fishy leer they squirm Off, and my belief is firm That I'd better use a worm On a pin. Wherever I get leave, Still I fish from morn to eve, Though I never--hardly ever--rightly cast, With a body soaking wet, With a mind intent and set On success achieving yet At the last. In my coat of wondrous tweed, And on every wandering weed, Hooks and flies unnamed invariably I fix. _Here_ I cannot land a fish-- I can only hope and wish I may creel a goodly dish In the Styx. * * * * * [Illustration: RELIEF.--_Piscator_ (_about the end of a very bad day_). "Donald, hang the boat here a bit, we may get a rise." _Donald._ "Hang!"--(_Giving way_)--"I shall tamm the boat if you will, and the trouts--and the loch too!" [_Feels better!_ ] * * * * * [Illustration: Catching her-ring] * * * * * [Illustration: Deep C fishing] * * * * * _Q._ What is the difference between a dunce and an angler?