_Snob._ "Ah, sell it, do you? With my game, don'tyer-know, I give my friends some, and send the rest to the hospitals." _Host._ "And very natural and proper, I'm sure. The only thing I've seen you shoot to-day was a beater!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Husband._ "Look out, Kitty. There are some birds just in front of you!" _Wife_ (_out for the first time_). "Then, for goodness sake, keeper, call that silly dog of yours! Can't you see he's standing right in my way?"] * * * * * [Illustration: AN UNFORTUNATE REMARK.--_Novice_ (_to host, after walking for two hours under a brilliant sun without seeing a single bird_). "Grand day, isn't it?" [_N.B._--_He only meant to lighten the general depression, but he wasn't invited again._ ] * * * * * [Illustration: A WISE PRECAUTION _Sportsman_ (_to his wife, who is rather a wild shot._) "By Jove! Nelly, you nearly got us again, that time! If you are not more careful, I'll go home!" _Old Keeper_ (_sotto voce_). "It's all right, squire. Her bag is full of nothing but _blank_ 'uns!"] * * * * * [Illustration: "GUNNING WITH A SMELL DOG" (_B. Jonathan, Esq., having missed a hare, the dog drops to the shot_) _B. J._ (_scornfully_). "Call that a good dawg? I reckon he ain't worth candy! When the beast's sitting, he stands and looks at him; and when he runs away, he lies down and looks at me!"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Keeper._ "Would you gentlemen kindly tell me which of you two is a lord, _as I've been told to give him the best place_."] * * * * * _Gentleman._ "That looks a well-bred dog." _Owner._ "I should think he was well-bred. Why, he won't have a bit er dinner till he's got his collar on!" * * * * * SS. PATRICK AND PARTRIDGE "Now at the birds, me boy, let dhrive!" Says Mike, exhorting Dan. "That's how we'll keep the game alive, By killing all we can!" * * * * * [Illustration: DAMAGED GOODS.--_Sportsman_ (_invited to help shoot some bucks in Mr. Meanman's park, and has just knocked one over_). "By Jove! what a lovely head! You must let me have that for mounting." _Mr. Meanman_ (_frightfully indignant_). "What! cut his head off! Why, man, it would ruin the sale of the carcase!"] * * * * * [Illustration: UNNECESSARY QUESTIONS. _Lady_ (_with gun_). "Am I holding the thing right?"] * * * * * [Illustration: _Sportsman_ (_to Snobson, who hasn't brought down a single bird all day_). "Do you know Lord Peckham?" _Snobson._ "Oh dear, yes; I've often shot at his house." _Sportsman._ "Ever hit it?"] * * * * * [Illustration: Renting a well-stocked moor] * * * * * [Illustration: A shooting party]