Mr. Punch with Rod and Gun: The Humours of Fishing and Shooting — John Shaqi
Mr. Punch with Rod and Gun: The Humours of Fishing and Shooting
General
Mr. Punch with Rod and Gun: The Humours of Fishing and Shooting
English wit and humor; English wit and humor, Pictorial; Fishing -- Anecdotes; Fishing -- Humor; Hunting -- Anecdotes; Hunting -- Humor
Real difficulties and sufferings begin when you reach the
Cruach-na-spiel-bo, which sounds like Gaelic, and will serve us as a
name for the river. It is, of course, extremely probable that you pay a
large rent for the right to gaze at a series of red and raging floods,
or at a pale and attenuated trickle of water, murmuring peevishly
through a drought. But suppose, for the sake of argument, that the water
is "in order," and only running with deep brown swirls at some thirty
miles an hour. Suppose also, a large presumption, that the Duffer does
not leave any indispensable part of his equipment at home. He arrives at
the stream, and as he detests a gillie, whose contempt for the Duffer
breeds familiarity, he puts up his rod, selects a casting line, knots on
the kind of fly which is locally recommended, and steps into the water.
Oh, how cold it is! I begin casting at the top of the stream, and step
from a big boulder into a hole.
[Illustration]
Stagger, stumble, violent bob forwards, recovery, trip up, and here one
is in a sitting position in the bed of the stream. However, the high
india-rubber breeks have kept the water out, except about a pailful,
which gradually illustrates the equilibrium of fluids in the soles of
one's stockings. However, I am on my feet again, and walking more
gingerly, though to the spectator my movements suggest partial
intoxication. That is because the bed of the stream is full of boulders,
which one cannot see, owing to the darkness of the water. There was a
fish rose near the opposite side. My heart is in my mouth. I wade in as
far as I can, and make a tremendous swipe with the rod. A frantic tug
behind, crash, there goes the top of the rod! I am caught up in the root
of a pine-tree, high up on the bank at my back. No use in the language
of imprecation. I waddle out, climb the bank, extricate the fly, get out
a spare top, and to work again, more cautiously. Something wrong, the
hook has caught in my coat, between my shoulders. I must get the coat
off somehow, not an easy thing to do, on account of my india-rubber
armour. It is off at last. I cut the hook out with a knife, making a big
hole in the coat, and cast again. That was over him! I let the fly
float down, working it scientifically. No response. Perhaps better look
at the fly. Just my luck, I have cracked it off!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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