"'U-m-m--y-a-as,' says he most sarcastical; 'I notice somethin', Ezekiel--a strong smell of peppermint--not escaped you, perhaps? Well, there's just one more swig of green paint goin' to force itself into the midst of William Pemberton, and if there ain't more to show for it than the present odor and a sensation 'sif I'd been turned inside out and exposed to the wintry blasts you'll hear from me, Ezekiel. I've stood,' says William, 'about all I'm prepared to stand. The next act will be for me to proceed to get a move on.' "Knowin' what a powerful disposition he had I most sincerely hoped our next glass would bring about satisfactory conclusions. I downed her, but it had got to be all I could do, I felt a freezin' cold in my vitals, like William had complained of, instead of the warmth and comfort for which I looked. Y-a-as, I swallered that glass by main strength, like a snake would a hop-toad--kinder lengthened myself until I was outside of it. "'Tick-tick-tick,' remarks William's clock on the wall. When it had arranged its hands before its mild countenance in such a way as to inform me that twenty minutes, mountain time, had done all the elapsin' possible, I slid my anxious gaze on William. He held to his chair with both hands, and white spots showed in his cheeks, the way he chawed his teeth together. "'Ahem,' says I, clearin' my throat, 'Hum--ah, do you--er--do you no--' "I got no farther. William leant over and bent his finger double agin my chest. 'Full well,' says he in a tone of v'ice not loud but so loaded with meanin' it bumped on his teeth--'full well, Ezekiel George Washington Scraggs, do I assimerlate what the results of such a course will be, but if you should persume to ast me any more if I notice anything I shall at once arise and bat you in the eye--I am beyond carin' for conserquences.' "'Now, now, now! What is the use of gettin' so excited? Take a drink of water--you'll bust your b'iler, foamin' like that,' I says. "'Water!' says William. 'Ha, ha, ha.' It wasn't no giggle, that laugh of his. It was one of them blood-curdlers you read about. "'All right," says he, brisk, 'to oblige you--remember that.' He turned the dipper upside down, then heaved it through the window. 'Sufferin' Ike'' says he, "I can't even taste it--nothin' but cold, cold. Went down my gullet like a buckshot down a ten-foot shaft.' He struggled for air and continued; 'Here am I,' says he, 'William Pemberton, celebratin' Christmas by dyeing my linin' green and smellin' like a recess in a country school.' His ventilation give out again, whilest he worked his face into knots and flew his hands around. 'You come along with me,' says he, 'and I'll show you a Christmas celebration.' "I grabbed him. 'William,' I says, 'your eye is desperate. You explain to me before you scuff a foot.'