"'I have now,' I replies, 'thirteen wives--'Before I could get another word out she was ra'rin.' "'Oh!' she yells, 'ye villyan! Ye long-legged blaggard! Ye hairless ol' scoundrel of the world! How dast ye?' She begun lookin' around for a club, so I talked fast. "'It's my religion, ma'am,' says I. 'I'm a Mormon by profession, mixed with accident. Think a minute before you do somethin' that'll cause general regret.' "'Well,' she says, calmin' down, 'is there e'er an Oirish leddy in the lot?' "'Not one, up till this joyful present,' I answers. 'I don't rightly know what country they hail from, but I can truthfully add that I'm not thinkin' of takin' up homestead rights there.' "'Aggh, g'long wid yer jokin',' says she, as kittenish as anything. 'Yer only foolin', ye are.' "'Ma'am,' says I, 'if you say the word I shall at once proceed to get my fiery, untamed skees and go gallopin' over the mountains to make you the fourteenth Mrs. Scraggs with all speed and celery possible. You have only to speak to turn this dreadful uncertainty into a horrible fact. I pay for what I break; that's me, Jo Bush.' "'Well, ain't this suddent!' she says. 'But I'll not stop ye from yer intentions--men is that set in their ways! Run along, now, loike a good choild!' "'Well, good-by, William!' I says when we started, 'You see how it is yourself!" "He cried on my coat collar. I honest believe that grass-juice had a jump or two in it, so darned insijous a man wouldn't notice. "'To think it was me brought this on,' he hollers. 'Me an' my revengeful nature! You try to forgive me, Ezekiel. And we everlastingly did wind up that mill, anyhow!' "'William,' says I, 'take no heed. No man is above what happens to him, unless like he'd been atop of the mill when she dispersed. I forgive you--good-by.'" Mr. Scraggs puffed his pipe thoughtfully. "Thirteen," he ruminated, and shook his head. "Tell me not them mournful numbers." "But," interrupted Charley, "I don't see as you was any worse off than before?" "Me?" replied Mr. Scraggs in surprise. "Me? No, _I_ wasn't any worse off. But, as I said before, inquire of the snake. "Mrs. Mehitabel Thirteenth Scraggs opened up on me a few mornings after that, and my latest acquisition instantly laid hold of her by the hair of her head and beat her with a fryin'-pan till Number Thirteen had to take to her feet and stay that way for a week. "'You _will_ talk to my ol' man like that, will _you_?' says Bridget. 'Well, mind you this, now! If he nades batin' _I'll_ bate him, but fur anny skimpy, yaller critter like yerself to so much as give him a sassy look I'll construe as a mortial offense. Run along, now, run along, and git him his breakfas', or I'll strangle ye with me foot!' [Illustration: "You _will_ talk to my ol' man like that, will _you_?"]