MR. TOGO [Illustration: _Hoping you are the same, Yours truly, HASHIMURA TOGO_] MR. TOGO _MAID OF ALL WORK_ WALLACE IRWIN (HASHIMURA TOGO) [Illustration: Logo] NEW YORK DUFFIELD & COMPANY 1913 COPYRIGHT, 1913 BY DUFFIELD & COMPANY CONTENTS PAGE I THE HON. VACUUM WHO CLEANS THINGS 1 II HON. BABY AND WHAT TO DO WITH HIM 13 III HON. MISS DRESSMAKER 25 IV THE HUSBAND’S PLACE IN THE HOME 37 V HOW SHOULD I DO PAPER-BAG COOKING? 49 VI HON. DISH RAG VS. THE HON. CHINA 61 VII A DAY AT HOME 73 VIII PETS 87 IX WASHING WINDOWS 97 X PAPER-HANGING 109 XI HON. GLADYS OBTAIN MATRIMONY 121 XII FALL CLEANING 133 XIII APARTMENT HOUSE LIFE IN NEW YORK 145 XIV CAN AUTOMOBILES BE TAMED FOR HOME USE? 157 XV PICNIC PARTY 169 XVI AN ADVENTURE IN BANTING 181 I THE HON. VACUUM WHO CLEANS THINGS _To Editor Woman’s Page who make bright talk on dusty subjects._ Dear Sir: I have just abandoned the home of Mrs. Hirem B. Bellus, Trenton, N. J., where I was. I shall describe circumstances, showing how I quit it. This Mrs. Bellus, 211 lbs. sweethearted lady complete with curly-puff hair, employ me for do Gen. Housework, price $4.50 weekly payment. This are too less money, but she tell me small pay for small Japanese are entirely satisfactory. Satisfactory to who? I ask it. No reply from her. “Are you an intelligent duster?” are first question for her. “Japanese dusters is more intellectual than Turkey dusters,” I snop back. “I am acquainted with the habits of dirt and how to kill him. I am an experienced soaper and a fearless rubb. Therefore, you hire me.” “Have you ever cleaned with a Vacuum?” she ask to know. My soul was exhausted to answer this peculiarity. “I never met him,” I acknowledge. “How could I hire servant girl not familiar with this form of art?” she require peevly. “Vacuum cleaning are most delightful sport of home life to-day. It are enjoyed even in the farthest suburbs of the Universe, and yet you ignore it!” “Ah, Mrs. Boss Lady,” I pledge with pathos, “do not fire me before hiring takes place! Try my sagacity. I shall learn to wrastle with this Vacuum you told about until you are proud to know me.” So she took me to store room and introduce me to Hon. Vacuum. The Hon. Vacuum that cleans, Mr. Editor, are like an ingrowing garden hose. He can inhale forever without coughing outwards. He are a species of mechanical snake whose breath always travels toward his tail. To use him, following directions must be did: 1--Screw tail of Hon. Vacuum to sprocket in wall. 2--Button the electricity and see what happen.